posted
I was diagnosed with LYME in Sept. It is believed due to my symptoms I have had it for probably 10 yrs. I have noticed over the last year all my symptoms have gotten more intense ..
What is the hardest to deal with is my mental state. I am much more anxious, depressed and prone to fits of uncontrollable crying and rage. My emotions have been so out of control it scares me.
I am on lamictal and wellbutrin ( much to my chagrin) - plus a bunch of natural supplements for mood- fish oil, b vits, natural lithium orotate and mood balancing herbs.
I don't like taking the pharmaceuticals, but am willing to do anything to get a grip before I destroy my relationship.
I know that its natural to have a whole gamut of emotions dealing with this disease and the pain and grief that comes with it.
I also know that the spirochete is a neuro-toxin and can poison the brain and therefore the thinking..
Sometimes the physical pain is so bad, I feel like I cannot go on anymore, or I lash out and get irrational.
Sometimes I feel desperate to be released from all this and wish it would all end, but then I calm down and try to stay positive.
The mental anguish that comes with this and how it changes your life is too much handle sometimes - trying stay balanced and nice to be around.
I am a positive loving person , but this illness is changing me.. Any feed back and support would be greatly appreciated
.................................................. Breaking this up for easier reading for many here -
-------------------- Hoping for Hope Lyme, Cfids, Hormone imbalance, hypo-thyroid, immune deficiency Posts: 44 | From North Hollywood | Registered: Jan 2014
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posted
It's the illness, not you, so don't give up! You're going to need to discover what will treat you so that you'll feel better. That's the work, for each of us, and we're all different in our responses.
I had a great response to a homeopathic remedy called pulsatilla 12x. I popped a tablet under my tongue at bedtime, woke up high and couldn't remember for the life of me why, for about an hour! Very strange to be suddenly happy and not know why! It still works for me if I choose to do it.
So that's an idea for you - to check in with a homeopath and see if they can figure out a remedy for you.
Posts: 13116 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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For me, I try to find the triggers, what sets the emotions in motion and then stay clear of the triggers.
Sometimes, it is treatment that triggers the crying spells. Can't stay away from that, so just have to realize it is not me and try not to take out anyone else while I'm going through it.
Detox, for me, is key. Pulling back from treatment and detoxing like crazy usually stops the emotional/rage free-fall until the next time Posts: 331 | From West Coast | Registered: Jan 2012
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- I hope you are being treated by an ILADS educated LLMD or LL ND. Be sure to let them know.
Topic: MAGNESIUM LINKS sets
Many reasons why magnesium can help with mood stability - one article in this set discusses:
Magnesium in Neurological Diseases and Emotions
And the adrenal hit that goes with lyme can also clobber mood.
posted
Thank you all so much ! I know the crying and anger is based in the reality of dealing with this illness and the sadness, grief and frustration and not being able to fully live the life you want. Sometimes its like watching life go bye while you "take it easy" and try to do everything you can to get "better". It feels like is robbing you of your life and every day simple tasks can be so overwhelming and difficult, due to the pain and cognitive issues.
But sometimes it feels like the lyme is running the show and the " evil little spirochete " takes me over and the crying and rage are x10 ..... Have any of you ever felt this? Especially when herxing or just before a new treatment I always get super emotional and it truly seems to come from the lyme. Like in a esoteric energetic sense, it freaks out inside me because it doesn't want to die... I hope this doesnt sound to weird , but thats how it feels
-------------------- Hoping for Hope Lyme, Cfids, Hormone imbalance, hypo-thyroid, immune deficiency Posts: 44 | From North Hollywood | Registered: Jan 2014
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GretaM
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 40917
posted
Yes! I agree with you.
When I bart herx, I am reminded of how far in my treatment I have come. But still, to be in that space again is disturbing. I feel like I have no conscious control over my emotions.
I often wonder if our personalities are actually dictated more by our bacterial and viral biomes than our life experiences.
I wish I could say it gets better from personal experience, but I have only been treating for 9 months.
But surely it must.
Posts: 4358 | From British Columbia, Canada | Registered: Jun 2013
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posted
Thank you both for sharing your support and helpful info - I truly appreciate it !
-------------------- Hoping for Hope Lyme, Cfids, Hormone imbalance, hypo-thyroid, immune deficiency Posts: 44 | From North Hollywood | Registered: Jan 2014
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phyl6648
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28522
posted
For me the mental anxious is the worst part .. I don't even know me anymore. I don't have any advice but sure can sympathize.
Lyme for over 12 yrs. Haven't found any treatments that worked for long. Out of money and no doctor. Feel I am the end of my rope.
Posts: 1058 | From VA | Registered: Oct 2010
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Kudzuslipper
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 31915
posted
Naomi Anna-- try to stay positive. and when you need to give yourself permission to have a good cry! I think part of the anguish we feel when we are a mess is that we try to control it. have a good cry and move on.
the relapses or flairs are so much worse when you have had some good days. You have to remind yourself that you kill these buggers in layers... each layer down, you have more and more good days....but there are still some hiding beneath the surface ready to give you some bad days... but that is when they are exposed and can be killed.
as a little encouragement-- I had been sick so long without knowing, I didn't even know how much I had limited myself... i never liked to drive...but I was more afraid of getting lost...In recent years, I truly limited where I went, I knew I had gas... I went to the bathroom before I left...all so I could go directly where I was going.
One day about a year into treatment, I hit the road to visit my mom. about half way into a 2 hour drive my gas light went on... and I just calmly got off the road, had to drive out of the way a bit, filled my tank, and found my way back to the high way. Normal Huh? not for me! I was so proud of that moment! and it really signaled to be both how much better I was and also how much I had been catering to my own anxiety and fear.
It will happen for you too. I know people have mentioned it here...but you should really see an llmd if you are not already.
Posts: 1728 | From USA | Registered: May 2011
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nefferdun
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 20157
posted
Sorry Naomi!!
For me bartonella is the worst infection for irritation/rage and anxiety. Babesia made me very depressed and apathetic. It really does change your personality.
When borellia was in the foreground I felt bad, but not Bart bad!!! Bart bad is like feeling crazy. Babesia bad is like having dementia.
Drugs to treat bartonella are Bactrim DS and Rifampin. Drugs to treat babesia are the anti-malarial ones, like mepron and malarone (taken with a macrolide like zithromycin).
If you can hit the right infection, it will get better. Most of us begin treatment going after borellia. When there is a shift in symptoms with emotional/mental problems getting much worse it is probably bartonella or babesia taking over.
I am having a bart like attack right now. Hang in there.
-------------------- old joke: idiopathic means the patient is pathological and the the doctor is an idiot Posts: 4676 | From western Montana | Registered: Apr 2009
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Annie C
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 14
posted
Hi Naomi and I want to say welcome unfortunately your description fits safe to say 90% of us. I know you will find comfort from so many of us. Due to your sadness and how fast Lyme can change your out look on life will vacillate between herxes and loved ones.
You will get more support here than anywhere. Trust me I know. I even have good days like yesterday morning. Then it changed. It's going to be ok.
Glad you made it here. It's better than trying to understand. Due to Drs can't really understand.
Sorry you're having a bad day. I'm having almost the exact same day. Just hang on.
I just did a preview post. And I can't totally understand what I said. Hope you do.
-------------------- May God Bless you every day. And Never say never and do not give up no matter what. We need you to help others. Posts: 1288 | From Tetons Wyoming | Registered: Oct 2000
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Rivendell
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 19922
posted
These illnesses, because of what they do to the brain and nervous system through inflammation and other damage, cause depression and anxiety as a symptom.
You must treat the infection and inflammation.
For inflammation, I have had good luck with the following Buhner herbs:
Green Tea Japanese Knotweed Eleuthero/Rhodiola/Ashwagandha
The Eleuthero is also a good antidepressant.
I also take antibiotics.
And if there is an activity you can do that brings you joy, DO IT. Take time to forget about these illnesses. It really helps.
posted
I agree with all of the above! Yes, treat. And when I didn't know what was going on with me, I'd still try to do things I enjoyed and that changed my mood in the happier direction. Play around with that and find out if there's any activities you can engage in that do that for you.
Re losses, yep, that comes with the territory. We have to modify everything in our life. I try to do that in such a way that I still have some aspect of what I'm interested in present for me in some way.
Posts: 13116 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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posted
My walls are covered with my art! We had to block off our beautiful mountain top view with large sheets of insulation material. I am hypersensitive to light, sound, smell.
Soooo..I found some pins and began doing art...all kinds of it....and pinned it onto the boards. I have crayons, pastels, colored pencils, watercolors on my headboard. Some pieces are just abstracts. One is even a view of my room from my bed! I made a huge swatch board of all my colors.
Over the past 20 yrs. I've made hundreds of cards from papers I designed and people frame them. I call them "Headboard Cards".
Hold on, Naomi. You aren't alone. PM me anytime.
The colors themselves bring me joy! And I confess I have also leaned on Lamictal for many years with good results.
-------------------- DOCTOR: "I don't think you are sick." PATIENT: "We are all entitled to our opinions. I don't think you are a doctor." Posts: 697 | From Northern California | Registered: Jul 2009
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