posted
I suspect that my son has lyme. He was bitten as a 5 year old but I may have passed it to him. I got very ill right after I had him too and had to go back into the hospital. He used to be very sensitive as a child, was told he had adhd and the later ocd and depression.
I was told to give him meds and I tried different things but they weren't that helpful. When he was 10 he was talking about jumping out of the window so I had to try something else. He used Ritalin and Welbutrin and a couple of others. He did the best the year that he ran (track and cc)for school and didn't need anything and was getting good grades.(13 or 14?)
When he was 16 he was having severe ocd with numbers so that I had to take him to a psychiatrist.He has been dealing with the head and neck pain which has been my problem although mine has become so much better with cholestyramine.
He seems like he is getting more and more about using people for money and really has me worried. He owes me a bit and hasn't been able to find a job. He has my bad luck too, right after he got a really good job that he had been trying to get and he really liked, he slipped on the ice at home and broke his hand and was quickly replaced.
Some might say he needs a kick in the pants, that he needs to shape up but I know those dark places in his mind, I worry about him being there like I visit.
His girlfriend is not helping him in a good way either. I suspect she goes along with him asking everyone for money.He also had a hard time as a child and never was able to keep from bed wetting until he was about 9 no matter everything I tried.
His bladder was not working at night.He had chronic ear infections as a baby and allergic shiners almost the day he was born. I don't want to sound like an enabling mother who needs to tell her son to get his act together. I have tried that too, believe me.
He will be 24 soon. How do you know the difference between someone who is ill and someone who just needs to get their act together? I am feeling very sickened tonight since I found out he borrowed his dad's debit card, my ex-husband
who is in a nursing home dying, probably has lyme too but also used to drink.He won't contact me anymore. I have left a couple of messages and have messaged his girlfriend. I have not asked him lately about money.I told him when he got the
job, after a few weeks, we could set up an arrangement. He seems to show no emotion anymore. I think if I died tomorrow, he would be asking about my life insurance, and that is no joke.
It's scary. He used to be my little boy.I love him and my daughter with all of my heart. It makes me sick with worry.
Posts: 294 | From southwest mi | Registered: Dec 2012
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- "When he was 10 he was talking about jumping out of the window . . . "
Bartonella is the first thing that jumps to my mind. Seriously, while lyme may be very likely, Bartonella can take a front seat and cause serious depression and suicide tendencies even in young toddlers who just have not yet faced "hardships" that might bring such thoughts to others.
You ask: "How do you know the difference between someone who is ill and someone who just needs to get their act together? . . ."
He is ill. Yet, there are certain things he should be clear about not doing (taking a family member's credit card) but he is likely driven by desperation.
He is ill. First. Find some way to help him address that. Can he get to a LLMD for a good assessment?
Don't worry. There is no time for that. Some kind of action plan will require thoughtful approaches - enlist the help of a family therapist or
[as I suspect cost may be an obstacle] go talk to counselor at a congregation near you (you may not need to be a member of a particular church / synagogue / temple to ask such help (just respectful). Many religious affiliated counseling agencies serve those of all walks of life.
Best not to message his girlfriend.
Until such time as you have a good plan, best to keep your distance from your son - keeping messages to him non-stressful to either you or him.
Now is not the time to put pressure on him. Now is the time to start to figure out how to help him.
Good luck. Please do get some professional advice on this from a certified family therapist. They will know best how to handle. IF they could also be LL, all the better. Ask your LLMD's office for names, maybe. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- Do cancel that debit card - and all others as well, of course. Let him know, though, in case he has other plans so he's not taken for a shock.
If that money in the back account (debit card tied) needed to go toward payments of necessities for his father, do brainstorm with son as to just "now how do we cover that?"
Be careful not to let your emotions or reactions take off with you. Breathe. Take care. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
Very sad. He does sound ill to me also. I hope you can get some help for him.
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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linky123
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 19974
posted
I agree that the best thing to do would be to get him to a llmd and have him evaluated.
The things you mention can all be caused by tick-borne disease.
Take care and keep us posted.
-------------------- 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' Matthew 11:28 Posts: 2607 | From Hooterville | Registered: Apr 2009
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lpkayak
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5230
posted
Alot of what you wrote reminds me of two of my kids who had lyme and were txed. The one who had it frim birth had many problems, no dx until she was ten and too fatigued to go to school
Both of them did better when doing sports...
I wish you could get to LL psychiatrst or have one work close with llmd cuz he does seem to have a lot going on
Hes 24...is he open to tx? My kids werent. They refused tx when they turned 16....they got by but have issues and refuse to consuder lyme.
I know a lot of young ppl acting like him and parents are not ll so dont have a clue. A number of my nieces and nephews are going thru it
If he will cooperate with tx that would be great...to have you helping him. If not...idk...i had to let mine go. Some find their way some dont. Its really hard...but its a reality...and i believe we will see much more of it in the future
Good luck to you. I hope you figure out whats best
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
I was going to see if he could get a test done that would help pay for it for him. I have no job and am not well enough to help him get this done.
He is under 25 so it seems he could. He will be 24 in a couple of weeks.I don't think he thinks clearly about what he does. He chooses friends who seem sick too. One of his closest friends
looks as sick as you can imagine.He probably has it too although he also looks possessed. His teeth have fallen out but insists he is not on meth. He doesn't behave like he is though.He seems spacey. He can never hold down a job and my
son finds himself in a predicament when he is with him. I worry about him winding up in jail because of not thinking clearly. I wish I could take him where I go. He has no insurance and even
if he had state insurance it wouldn't cover anything anyway that would help him.I hate the thought of letting him go. I pray for him and have prayed for both of my children before they were born. I don't know that his therapist was
ever that helpful. He needs to start running again but he has been smoking for a time, off and on although he admits it stinks.He could have bartonella. We have always had cats too. I don't
have control over the debit card since it belongs to my exhusband but I will have to talk to him about not giving it to him. Many of my family, like you have experienced I am sure, think that you think everyone has lyme. You can't even bring it up. I just call it infection soup. These
infections don't easily go away though. I am sure the average person would say that he needs a kick in the pants. Sick people don't respond well to being kicked. Jail would not suit him either.I have no way to communicate to him except through his girlfriend.
He lives an hr away. I would like to stop by there on my way to the eye dr tomorrow if I have time. Maybe I can get him to come along and talk with him.
Posts: 294 | From southwest mi | Registered: Dec 2012
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