posted
Please help my liver and kidneys -- they work a lot of overtime and don’t get any vacation days
Please help me tell when I’m hurting because I’m having a herx, as opposed to some other reason, and to have an abundance of affordable, effective detox methods to deal with those herxes
Please give me the perseverance to run a marathon that lasts years, if not decades
Please give me the discernment to recognize negative emotions that are caused by pain and illness, and the ability to disregard those emotions as having a basis in toxic overload, not reality
Please give me the ability to sleep at night despite the cascade of negative things that are happening in my body
Please help me remember that even if today is a bad day, tomorrow will be different – it might be better, and it might be worse, but it will be different
Please give me the wisdom to deal with obstacles in my life directly and constructively, instead of engaging in behavior that is escapist or compulsive, like binging on food or cheating on my diet
Please give me the strength to stick to my daily regimen, even if it seems relentless and all-consuming, and not to resent that regimen, even if it doesn’t give me as much of my life back as I’d like it to
Please give me the restraint not to kill originally well-intentioned family members whose financial power over me has corrupted, and turned into despicable monsters, who don’t care who I am or what I feel as long as they can bend me to their will
Please take care of the people who genuinely care about me, there’s enough difficulty in their lives from having to deal with my lyme-crazed moods
Please give me the common sense not to freak out and think that my wife is always on the edge of losing her health every time she catches a bug or has down time.
Please give me the willingness to forgive an endless stream of doctors whose limited training and experience leaves them ignorant of how to diagnose Lyme accurately, too arrogant to consider the possibility that disease can exist outside their understanding, and eager to dispense psychiatric diagnoses as an alternative to admitting the truth: “I don’t know.”
Please help me not to be short-tempered with doctors who do see what I’m struggling with, and who are trying to help me, because the partial help they offer doesn’t touch the majority of my suffering
Please give me the ability to recall positive experiences from my past and replay those moments in my mind, like well-worn records, as an alternative to having a present that’s worth living
Please give me the ability to work through my grief at the many things this illness has caused me to lose, to be grateful for the limited life I still have, and to have realistic hope that things will get better, even if it’s in ways I can’t anticipate
Please don’t let soul-withering loneliness destroy me
Please let me be able to do some of the things I want and need to do, and to have at least a little, if only a taste, of the life I’d like to have; a partial life is better than no life
Please give me the perception not to think of myself as a small person because I live a small life
Please give me the ability to learn, so that with each passing month and year I slowly but steadily come to manage my problems more effectively
Please help me preserve what’s left of my mental well-being, I’ve worked hard to get this far and am not ready to give up yet
Please give me the courage to face things that don’t seem faceable
Disclaimer: Our Lady of Perpetual Die-Off is a fictional character I created for purposes of satire, and bears no resemblance to any actual religious diety. This post is not an invitation to religious members of this board to wax fervent.
GVS
Posts: 242 | From durham, nc | Registered: Oct 2016
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