Here's a new subject.. perhaps if members would discuss and DO something other than to support this (allowing the behavior from
24-Bit to continue unadressed and halt this forum's prior activities), we could return to the civil, stimulating political discussions we had for MANY, MANY months before recently.. http://www.advicemeant.com/stalker/
INTERNET STALKERS
How to survive, expose and deal with the slime of the web
This site will collect information and resources on how to deal with stalkers, building an indispensible guide. Your questions, thoughts and contributions will help - and will always be acknowledged.
What is an Internet stalker?
At its mildest, a stalker is simply a troll that has attached itself to an individual. At worst, boring, at best, flattering. Find out about trolls. But a stalker can be a serious predator, using the Internet to pursue a real or imagined vendetta, or other perverted agenda. Risk assessment is an essential first step.
How dangerous is it?
Start by thinking about who it is; is it someone you have simply upset on the Internet, someone with whom you've had a relationship? Is it someone you knew before, or have met in the real world?
Think about where you see it - newsgroups? forums? chat rooms? email?
What does it say? Is it a matter of direct insults? Is it lies and rumors? Does it reveal information not generally known that you want kept secret?
When - and how often - does it appear?
How is it threatening? Is it simply annoying, or do you fear direct contact, betrayal or what? Think about the worst it can do ... how bad is that?
Why are you being stalked - is it simply spite and boredom, is it envy or resentment? Have you done anytghing that you think may have set it off?
Once you can answer these questions, you will havce a clearer idea of what you are dealing with, and how quickly you may need to act.
What To Do - General Advice
In virtually every case, the first line of defence is to do nothing; simply treat it as a troll and ignore it - most will go away fairly quickly. remember, these creatures are a form of troll; if they fail to get rapid feedback, their inclination is to move on- they usually have neither the stamina nor the intelligence for a difficult situation.
But - however mild this stalker appears - always save every message you receive. A good way to do this is to create a new folder in your mailbox, and move all mails or copy newsgroup postings to that folder. I'd advise keeping this folder for at least a year after the last post, possibly longer. This can be a useful store of evidence, if later required, and can help in identifying the stalker.
Consider your options. Retaliation will make you feel better, but can be risky; as it make inspire, provoke or enable the stalker to strike further. For example, using the stalker's guestbook to warn them is risky if you have a guestbook that is open to attack. But if it is reasonably safe, then attack - let the stalker know that you are not afraid of electrons!
By definition, a stalker is a coward, like all bullies, like all who attack from behind, or in the dark. Be sure to mention this in every attack.
Stalkers make it personal - You make it impersonal. Minimise any private response you make; maximise every public response.
Not invariably, but usually, stalkers are none too bright; as JR would say, "The Elevator Don't Reach the Top Floor" - few intelligent people would go down the road to stalksville. Some, of course, are severely mentally ill. If you suspect that, then do not engage the stalker in any kind of dialog - just keep careful records and make appropriate reports.
Be Reasonable - Your attacks should be in response to the stalker's - and their first line of defense will be to accuse you of stalking - so don't go over the top. You'll usually be amazed how easy it is to attack a stalker, but exercise restraint. If they write in your forum, and it's safe to respond - then write in theirs. But be honest, brief and to the point - even if you post in every thread.
Keep records of all that you do, as well as what they do - and consider writing a web diary, or opening a web page to expose them. They may well have a reputation to lose - if they deserve to lose it, help them to lose it (example - The Zeppo).
Share The Laughter - However unnerving a stalker may be, if you look at them coldly in the light of day, they are pretty ridiculous. Some are Nothing But Ridiculous (example - Spiro). Savour that; turn it around, let them - and the world - see how ridiculous they are. Every time you mock them, you gain, and they lose. Share The Laughter.
Be consistent - once you have identified their weaknesses (besides being a loopy, cowardly piece of slime!), use the information against them, in every response.
[This message has been edited by Mo (edited 18 October 2004).]
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