posted
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Jack Handy
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ Henny Youngman
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ Stephen Wright
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ " Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~ Benjamin Franklin
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! ~ Dave Howell
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
Posts: 712 | From Ottawa, ON, Canada | Registered: Sep 2002
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charlie
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 25
posted
...I'll drink to that...
Posts: 2804 | From Texas | Registered: Oct 2000
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posted
I didn't mean to imply that we should all get drunk.... just thought the quotes were funny and wanted to share!
Cheers!
(and do listen to Dave here, he's right about the yeast and the immune system)
The good thing is that you'll be able to enjoy alcohol once you are symptom free, and then you'll be a cheap drunk like me!
Posts: 712 | From Ottawa, ON, Canada | Registered: Sep 2002
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lymie tony z
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5130
posted
excerp from a streetcar named desire....
S T E L L AAAAAAAA!
Sorry you're probably tired of hearing that!
Could'nt resist>>>
Anyway...those were some funny quotes....pundits...etc...
Yeah, I only wish I were free from this dang bug so I could enjoy a cocktail without the ramifications....oh well...
It really bugs me that we can drink fruit juices and get hangovers without even drinking booze! That really sucks.....not even copping a buzz before we get hung over....sheesh....zman
-------------------- I am not a doctor...opinions expressed are from personal experiences only and should never be viewed as coming from a healthcare provider. zman Posts: 2527 | From safety harbor florida(origin Cleve., Ohio | Registered: Jan 2004
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treepatrol
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 4117
posted
That reminded me to get smarter and buy a case of beer tonight!!!
Its almost cheaper than gas
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