randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
you know i think things are deteriorating in this country big time. this is unreal. and i swear it happened.
i just back from dillards. i went looking for a pandora bracelet for my sister. i'm standing at the jewelry counter with another couple who was there first.
the woman at the counter had her back turned and when she turned around she saw me and said "can i help you?" I was just starting to speak and said "oh, she's...."
and this woman next to me freaks out. she yells at the clerk "no, i was here first, you wait on me. you don't talk to her, i'm here."
the clerk look very surprised and said "yes". i looked at the woman and totally lost it, i was so angry. I said "look, if you would have let me finish my sentence i was going to tell her to wait on YOU first, but you interrupted me." the clerk looked at me and then this _itch yells at the clerk "no, you look at me, you don't look at her. you asked her first becasue she's white, no, look at me, you hear me."
i looked at the clerk, who was clearly about to cry now, and said "that's ok, i'm leaving."
and the woman said "fine, you go ahead, you leave, and now YOu wait on me."
i was shaking and i thought i was going to throw up. i mean i could barely make it to the car.
talk about making a scene.
i'm still so nervous i'm about to cry.
i got in my car and my heart was going "beat, beat, thunk, clud, beat, then rapid beats" and it actually hurt when it beat. thought i was going to hyperventilate or something.
posted
Aww hon, don't worry! It wasn't YOU making the scene!
Posts: 503 | From Alberta, Canada | Registered: Jun 2009
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ping
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6974
posted
randibear,
These sort of situations upset me because of a number of things, not just the rude behavior of the person, but:
1. The shock wave - You simply aren't prepared for that kind of reaction, which blindsides you out of thin air. While your brain is busy zipping across all the possibilities, the offender is continuing to be rude and upsets you further. Your mind doesn't have time to latch onto a solution.
2. The "I should have.." syndrome - When you calm down enough to realize what you should have said or done to remedy the situation, or at least make yourself feel better, it's over, you're home or elsewhere and completely ****ed off at yourself for not having the answer right away, as it seems easy now. Hindsight is so 20/20.
There are other issues, but these are the two that used to play on me the most. Now, I have my say (most of the time, unless he's 6'5" and it's not workable) and am not heard from again.
Don't worry, unfortunately, this is not likely to be the last time you have this kind of encounter in your life (or any of the rest of us). I hate them... "Learning experiences" - My hind foot!
ping "We are more than containers for Lyme"
[ 08-24-2009, 03:49 PM: Message edited by: ping ]
-------------------- ping "We are more than containers for Lyme" Posts: 1302 | From Back in TX again | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
I give you credit for keeping your cool. You are the bigger person.
Unfortunately they would have heard my mouth all over the store! That woman would have been crying by the time I was done with her!
unreal!
Posts: 50 | From nj | Registered: Aug 2009
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TerryK
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 8552
posted
So sorry you had to go through that. Sounds like depleted adrenals if the stress made you feel that sick. Used to be anytime I would get the slightest upset I would become so weak I could barely stand. I felt like a wet noodle. Like I would just crumple to the floor and couldn't get up.
I guess the way I get through these kinds of things is I remember that none of it is to be taken personally. No matter who was standing there, she would have reacted the same.
Not to justify what she did but it's possible that she recently had a horrific experience where she was treated terribly because of her race. Maybe it's happened a lot. Maybe she had a recent loss, maybe she's sick, maybe she's on the verge of a breakdown etc. etc...
Try to forgive her and move on. It's hard but do your best to not be open to letting the misbehavior of others affect your own body/energy.
I often put a protective barrior around myself when I go out. May sound crazy to some but it does help.
Maybe consider getting some help with your adrenals? You've been through a lot with your recent accident. This may have depleted you much more than you know.
Hope you feel better soon.
Terry
Posts: 6286 | From Oregon | Registered: Jan 2006
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IckyTicky
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 21466
posted
I would not have left. I would have told the clerk to call a manager and have the woman removed from the store.
-------------------- IGM: 18+, 23+, 30+, 31+++, 34+, 39IND, 41++, 58+++, 66+, 83-93IND IGG: 31+, 39IND, 41+ Also positive for Mycoplasma Pneumoniae and RMSF. Whole family of 5 dx with Lyme. Posts: 1014 | From Texas | Registered: Jul 2009
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posted
I know your post is old but I was just reading through and saw it.
I'm sure by now you've made peace with it but here's my take on it just in case you're still upset.
The kind of agression you described is very intimidating and very few people would have confronted her. However, you did manage to tell her nicely "I was going to tell her you were here first" to which she was totally oblivious in her state.
The only person I would expect to confront her would be someone equally agressive and that could only end badly.
It was and unsafe situation, she was a loose cannon and you didn't just do the right thing, you did the SMART thing.
Wow, imagine her poor family!
Posts: 982 | From Florida | Registered: Feb 2002
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- It's the feeling sick after these kinds of encounters that, in my experience, seem unique to lyme patients.
Feeling all the social stuff (sorry, I can't find the right word), yeah, others would, too.
But that physiological shaking as if poisoned, blood sugar drop and shock . . . I've noticed even killing a spider will send some very strange drugged sensations and shock through my body - for quite some time. And, I'm not afraid of killing the spider or wasp . . . it's just the immediacy of it.
Personal encounters of a confrontational nature do that, too. I used to teach public speaking, among other things - and also had a job where I'd give speeches to hundreds of people. I loved it. But when I started getting ill, it was as if I had been poisoned. It was beyond stage fright but those adrenal stress hormones were sure running wild.
So, as unpleasant as the store encounter was, it illustrates the critical importance of supporting your entire endocrine system and help the strengthen your nerve fibers, etc.
Fish oil, too, can be helpful. Recently, I saw a video challenge for cab drivers in NYC who were very short tempered, especially with demanding passengers. After just one week on fish oil, these cabbies were very mellow, friendly and not even ruffled by even passengers who were the worst behaved. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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seekhelp
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 15067
posted
If fish oil is really that powerful, sign me up! Posts: 7545 | From The 5th Dimension - The Twilight Zone | Registered: Mar 2008
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