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breaking this up for neuro folks like me can read and comprehend betty

JAMES, thanks so much for posting and updating us on things; we share your loss

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Originally posted by OpalMirror:


heiwalove, the official cause was suicide, a self-administered overdose of alcohol and oxycodone.

The alcohol was a coping mechanism since she was a teenager which did not serve her health and social connections well in the long term.

The oxycodone was prescribed and she typically kept it within reasonable use limits, but she'd saved a large amount of unused medication up so it was on-hand.

We all know that our body becomes acclimated to opiates at whatever level you're at, and it stops making its own endorphins, making opiates lose a lot of their effectiveness in the long term.


Death from opiates happens because it interferes with the brain's measurement of oxygen levels and it calms/slows respiration, to the point the brain fails to realize it needs to tell the lungs to breathe.


It's not a painful way to die, but everything emotional and mental leading up to that is, no doubt, very painful.


While it doesn't disfigure the corpse, it is still a sad violence to the body to end a life, yet it is her choice and it is her body, and she is free of pain and confusion.


As our bodies break down from illness, age, aggressive treatments, and perhaps abuse, our brain can be one of the damaged organs.


These assaults reduce our ability to choose appropriate coping mechanisms, and especially to learn new mechanisms.

One really has to strive, rage against the dying of the light, to learn healthier and kinder ways of being -- because if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.


Also, if you cycle on destructive coping skills it can obstruct and impair others around you in their ability to get through life, or it may alienate others.


The few who understand suffering and compassion will try to help, although they can only stand so close to the fire without getting burned.


I tried every thing I could to suggest, guide, cajole Kathryn to better ways of taking care of herself, and pleaded her not to make things so terribly hard on me, but we could not work it out and to take care of myself I had to step back from her life to a significant extent.


It was awful because I know how much she needed me, even if she was hostile toward me, desperate for relief, mad that I could no longer believe in the impossible of a full recovery.


Still I think we each parted with love, even if with heavy doses of pain and confusion.


bettyg, StinkBug was one of about 100 nicknames she came up with on a bulletin board service back in the early days of computers and modems.


She loved crazy offensive names because they would put the teeny boys from hitting on her simply because she had a female name... who wants to get it on with a stinkbug, or festeringheadwound, or pustulentboil, or myhusbandis****inganotherwomanandalligotwasthislousytshirt?


She took great joy in offending her way to stopping guys from hitting on her.


I know this disease and all the others has given me a very needed lesson in compassion, in respect for people challenged by suffering, of the many different kinds of suffering, and man's inhumanity to man in ignoring or idealizing away people's experience.


We must find ways to embrace others and support them to whatever degree best improves the health of each and all.

My remnant here is the grief and the memory of the pain, fear, and anger at the cruel suffering people endure, and that floods out onto themselves and the ones they love.


Kathryn wasn't perfect, none of us are, and she had a lot of bad days, but she was very good and a wonderful person, and I am so very blessed for all the good times, and the loving times, we had together.

If there are stories I can share or questions I can answer, any other things that may be a help to this community, I'm only too happy to share.

Kind regards to all.
James

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quote:

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Originally posted by Kerryblue:
Hi, What does it take whether suicide(what does that tell the ducks) we are sick.

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Posts: 4 | From Colton, Oregon, USA | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged |