TheCrimeOfLyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 4019
posted
Eh, why not? I have an idea ( and I'm slightly bored and still jilted by idiot ducks)
Lets play a game. I'll start it by giving you a "complaint" ( it should be made up, or real whatever.. as long as you REALLY arent looking for a diagnosis, cause we cant do that here)
and then the first person under me ANSWERS my complaint ( diagnoses it) and then lists theirs.
when you ANSWER someone's complaint, give it the best, humor you can possibly use
OR the most morbid answer, silly answer, whatever answer
HECK , even throw in answers some of the DUCKS may have given YOU.
I'll just show an example:
Hi, Im the Crime of Lyme. My neck has been aching me for months. It started after I had this rash on my neck right where I was bit by a tick. what do you think it is doc?
Say this made poster name twillax answers me. Twillax is being the doctor and would say ( I mean hey what you say is what yous a say).. but Twillax
says: Hmm, rash, tick, neck ache? I think you have hemmorhoids. Take this cream for seven days by applying it in your nose and you will be just FINE.
OK, so I really will start in a post below.. if anyone wants to play, join in.
-------------------- You want your life back? Take it. Posts: 3169 | From Greensburg, Pennsylvania | Registered: Jun 2003
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TheCrimeOfLyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 4019
posted
Ok, Im starting. Hopefully I won't play alone.
Doctor,
My head has been me for days. I was outside gardening the last time I had REAL activity. Since then, I have been down in bed with this killer headache. I also have swollen lymph nodes, sensitivity to light and I just can't think right.
-------------------- You want your life back? Take it. Posts: 3169 | From Greensburg, Pennsylvania | Registered: Jun 2003
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cantgiveupyet
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Member # 8165
posted
Hmmm have you been sleeping at nite, do you like to go out in crowds...seems you have a fear of the outside...have you ever heard of agoraphobia.Our eyes can become overeactive if we stay inside for long periods of time...
.am i right here...i dont think you have told me everything.
Im going to give you a prescription for depression, i also want you to see a colleague of mine down the road at the hospital he speacializes in this kind of thing.
Ok here is mine,
I have lower right back pain, temple pain...motion sickness..frequent urination..lower right back pain...eye twitch.
Ive been like this since my vacation in the mountains where i swam in a lake.
-------------------- "Say it straight simple and with a smile."
"Thus the task is, not so much to see what no one has seen yet, But to think what nobody has thought yet, About what everybody sees."
-Schopenhauer
pos babs, bart, igenex WB igm/igg Posts: 3156 | From Lyme limbo | Registered: Oct 2005
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TheCrimeOfLyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 4019
posted
You swam in a lake did ya? Thats easy! You have lower pulled back muscle syndrome, which can last for up to ten years.
While in the lake, you slammed your head on a rock and must have forgotten about it. The motion sickness is because the lake was "calm"
if you were in the ocean, you wouldn't get motion sickness!
The eye twitch is related to opening your eyes while you were under the lake. You know you did, admit it?
You have an obsession with lakes? I think your entire problem is because you like lakes. Really, try the ocean.
So you have to go to the restroom alot , eh? Are you moving your bowels ok?
-------------------- You want your life back? Take it. Posts: 3169 | From Greensburg, Pennsylvania | Registered: Jun 2003
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5dana8
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7935
posted
Rash: Take some benedril sounds like an allergic reaction.
For the neck pain, apply ice and heat to area. Take advil 3XD. If it continues I want you to see an orthopedist.
Here's the bill. Quack... quack...There really should be a duck icon on here somewhere.
-------------------- 5dana8 Posts: 4432 | From some where over the rainbow | Registered: Sep 2005
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Andie333
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7370
posted
Actually, it sounds to me like you're fine!
Andie
Posts: 2549 | From never never land | Registered: May 2005
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posted
("do you attend church" says the duc in a quiet voice) "Oh good....
all of you need to talk to your pastor about your (stress) problems!!!!!
Here's mine
Hi Doctor--It all stared with burning arms, pelvic pain and stabbing leg pain
now numbness and in hands onset, joint pain, vision problems on and off, ringing in my ears, weakness in my arms and tingling in my feet, neck pain...
Posts: 208 | From Santa Fe | Registered: May 2006
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TheCrimeOfLyme
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Member # 4019
posted
Jif:
Your symptoms are of course way too many address in this "extensive " 15 minute session that I'm being paid 200.00 bucks for!
Are you under any stress lately? Someone shouldn't have so many symptoms. I am declaring your problems idiopathic psychosomatic intentional mental undue.
That will be 200, dont forget.
-------------------- You want your life back? Take it. Posts: 3169 | From Greensburg, Pennsylvania | Registered: Jun 2003
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TheCrimeOfLyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 4019
posted
Someone go next.. list your complaint so we can duck diagnose you.
-------------------- You want your life back? Take it. Posts: 3169 | From Greensburg, Pennsylvania | Registered: Jun 2003
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Carol in PA
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 5338
posted
Doctor, doctor, give me the news... I've got a BAD case of
hmmm, let me see...
Salsa, that's it, I crave salsa. The hotter the better.
Why don't I crave chocolate anymore?
Signed, Hotlips
Posts: 6956 | From Lancaster, PA | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Sounds like you need a psychiatrist hotlips. Your craving for salsa is symbolic of staring into the sun. This means if you continue to give in to your addictive salsa cravings...you will likely go blind. ....No, it has nothing to do with fighting inflammation, there is really no such thing as inflammation.
As for the chocolate, it seems you are likely suffering from constipation and really that's about it, no, sugar is not a problem don't you worry about that because the yeast thing is a myth. I suggest you talk to the psychiatrist about your aversion to chocolate because chocolate is truly at the top of the food pyramid and it seems your avoidance of it is a sign that you may just be going deaf too.
>>>> I have out of body experiences and speak in a foreign tongue that is lovely music sometimes but no one understands me. In fact sometimes I read one sentence over and over and over and still, it is not received. Shooting pains do not discriminate and I am always crying. What do you think doc? I just can't get out of bed anymore and feel like I'm dying.
just don
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 1129
posted
Painted turtle, Sounds as if you are just 2000 years short of when you SHOULD have been born. Foreign tongues suddenly spoken was back in Jesus time, nobody has that since then! Must be al in your head and you are actually dreaming it.
Hey doc, Whenever I stab into anything with a pitchfork or scoop my hands have this stabbing pain like I have never had before. I just had bilateral carpal tunnel surgery to fix it about a year ago. What can this be?? Besides I get very nauseas when in pickup or car etc. I am real tired these days. Teeth are falling out, neck is really stiff and sore,heavy head syndrome. Cant even enjoy a beer any more without getting sick or having one day hangover for each one enjoyed!! PLEASE help me Dr. Duck??? What IS this???
(Actual duck response--nothing in your hands to hurt like that(no x-rays taken) and if you have all these other maladies you are a chronic whiner and neurotic. NO disease known to man has all those symptoms,,, your just getting older, get used to it!!! You must have just overused your hands and wore them out over the years)(And, once arthritis WAS discovered to be cause, arthritis is osteo kind so it does NOT move or spread!!)
Can you better diagnose me fellow docs??? Especially that lady from Penn. (With 'hotlips')??? Forgot what those were? Can anybody reenlighten me???because I remain--just don--
-------------------- just don Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001
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Pocono Lyme
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Member # 5939
posted
Well, Z Man,
It's obvious you have a urinary tract infection. I will give you a script for an antibiotic to take for ten days and would advise you to get a pair of "duck" boots to wear in the woods from now on. This way, when you pee on your feet again, it'll roll off.
Now, for me. I've been dizzy for months, brain fog, visual disturbances, muscle pain, frozen shoulder, blocked ears that all seemed to start within a month after finding a tick. And PS, I don't have the same condition as Just Don.
-------------------- 2 Corinthians 12:9-11
9 But he said to me, �My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.� Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ�s power may rest on me. Posts: 1445 | From Poconos, PA | Registered: Jul 2004
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treepatrol
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 4117
posted
So dizzy where did you find this tick in the woods?
-------------------- Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Remember Iam not a Doctor Just someone struggling like you with Tick Borne Diseases.
Pocono Lyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5939
posted
Right where ZMan PEE'D. Thought for sure everything would be dead after THAT. They must have just been a little intoxicated. The ticks I mean.
It Was by the 19th hole ya' know. Still Dizzy.
-------------------- 2 Corinthians 12:9-11
9 But he said to me, �My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.� Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ�s power may rest on me. Posts: 1445 | From Poconos, PA | Registered: Jul 2004
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5dana8
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Member # 7935
posted
Pocolyme
It sounds to me like you are not being fulfilled in your home life. Here's some script fpr some prozac. As for the dizzy/inner era problems take 2 Q-Tips and call me in the morning.
That will be $200. Pay on the way out. If you don't have the money you may massage my ego, call me a God and kiss my feet. That will still be $200 dollars or your first born-whatever comes first
HI doctor
I have been do tired lately and and out of breath. I also get joint pain when I excercise.
I also can't fall asleep at night either. I usually sleep for 9 hours and when I wake up I don't feel refreshed.
What do you think is the problem?
-------------------- 5dana8 Posts: 4432 | From some where over the rainbow | Registered: Sep 2005
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treepatrol
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 4117
posted
quote:Originally posted by Pocono Lyme:I've been dizzy for months, brain fog, visual disturbances, muscle pain, frozen shoulder, blocked ears that all seemed to start within a month after finding a tick Right where ZMan PEE'D. Thought for sure everything would be dead after THAT. They must have just been a little intoxicated. The ticks I mean.
It Was by the 19th hole ya' know. Still Dizzy.
Well the muscle pain,frozen shoulder is from the golf layoff for a while,Fog when you do go back to golf, play in afternoon no fog then,Did you hear me? Yes. Well your ears are fine,and quit looking for ticks especially when your intoxicated. Take two motrin a day for aches. We will bill you.
-------------------- Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Remember Iam not a Doctor Just someone struggling like you with Tick Borne Diseases.
You're probably drinking too much coffee. Is there some unusual stress in your family life right now?
Here's a sample of some antidepressants. I'll see you back here in a month.
(In my experience ducks are neither clever nor funny)
Here's mine:
I have an ugly rash on my shins. It doesn't itch. I ache all over. I can't stand any bright lights or loud noises. My ears won't stop ringing. I can't swallow my food without choking. My nails have ridges. I can't turn my head because my neck is so stiff.
(now I AM depressed because this was all true, some of it still is )
Posts: 353 | From Florida boonies | Registered: Nov 2005
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Pocono Lyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5939
posted
Well Dana,
Q tips? I thought you weren't supposed to put anything in your ears smaller than your elbow. Oh, forget I said that. Not supposed to question God. Am I paid in full now?
Oh I just noticed kissing your feet as part of it. Here's the balance.
And Dana, Sounds to me like you may be exercising too much. When you go to bed to sleep, it's to sleep not exercise, Most people WILL get short of breat with this type of exercise, well not sure about Just Don, About the joint pain, position, position, position or location location location.
You could try to get yourself on a schedule, get up early and go to bed (to sleep) early. NINE HOURS!
Tree, Good advice. Put that on my account please. On account I don't have any money. BTW, I don't play golf. I was following ZMan. A girl's gotta have SOME fun. Anybody have binoculars they're not using?
-------------------- 2 Corinthians 12:9-11
9 But he said to me, �My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.� Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ�s power may rest on me. Posts: 1445 | From Poconos, PA | Registered: Jul 2004
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5dana8
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7935
posted
Nebula 2005
Here are my recommendations-from God's ear:
For your bright lights- buy a pair of tinted glasses and stop starring into the sun already.
For your rash: use calamine lotion and stop rolling in the posien ivey. You know they make beds for that kind of activity.
For your nails: here is the number of my manicurist.
For your the neck pain. If it hurts than stop turning your neck.
"but doctor what about the aching all over? "
I think we have already covered that.
That will be $200. You can pay on the way out- of course after kissing my @ss.
-------------------- 5dana8 Posts: 4432 | From some where over the rainbow | Registered: Sep 2005
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5dana8
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posted
That's it Dr. Pocono Lyme
I have to stop running those marathons before bedtime
You are a freakin God.
Do you take credit cards?
-------------------- 5dana8 Posts: 4432 | From some where over the rainbow | Registered: Sep 2005
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Pocono Lyme
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Member # 5939
posted
Hey Nebula,
I wouldn't pay Dr. Dana yet as she hasn't addressed your swallowing issues. I suggest you take smaller bites and chew your food thoroughly.
I believe about a year or so ago someone got that advice from a neurologist.
Dr. Dana, if I don't have to kiss your feet we can call it even OK? Too many Podi Patches, yuk.
Or you could forward it to Dr. TreePatrol to take off of my account. Do you believe him?
After reading some of these other patients' accounts, I think Jif has the same condition as Just Don, then we have COL and doesn't want to play alone, Can't is constantly winking and calls it twitching, and Dana, don't let Carol kiss your feet as part of your payment (HOT LIPS)
And Painted Turtle. I wrote down the instructions a while back and now is complaining of not receieving written material after reading it over and over. So which is it?
Just Don and Z Man, well they're busy. You Know.
And how do you like Andie and TreePatrol. The two docs want to get paid but didn't list any symptoms. Hmmmm. They didn't read the rules. Maybe Painted Turtle could read it to them over and over again. I'll bet they skipped Lyme 101 too.
-------------------- 2 Corinthians 12:9-11
9 But he said to me, �My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.� Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ�s power may rest on me. Posts: 1445 | From Poconos, PA | Registered: Jul 2004
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Carol in PA
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 5338
posted
Here is the doc's recommendation for Just Don:
Put the lime in the coconut and mix it all together, Drink it all up, And call me in the morning.
Hey doctor, why am I always tired? Feels like my "get up and go" got up and went.
Carol
Posts: 6956 | From Lancaster, PA | Registered: Feb 2004
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trueblue
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7348
posted
Carol ~ tired is a relative term, (if you've dealt with relatives you'd know this).
You just think you're tired based on some notion you've got in your head from reading. Don't read so much or for that matter "think of the places you get up has been."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Doctor... I've had vague flu-like symptoms come and go for years. I always feel like I'm coming down with something but never get full blown sick. Just low grade fevers, scratchy throats and feeling run down, I don't know what's going on.
Now, in the past few months I've had numbness going down my left thigh, joint pains in my right foot and hip and my right shoulder dislocated itself while sitting in a movie. I don't know what's wrong with me.
-------------------- more light, more love more truth and more innovation Posts: 3783 | From somewhere other than here | Registered: May 2005
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Lots of individuals come down with viruses when they get run down. You need to get more sleep and wash your hands more frequently. Try to eliminate stress from your life. Stress does amazing things to the body.
About your leg and hip problems, you probably have a pinched nerve. Go to a chiropractor for treatment of subluxation to get everything back in place. If that does not work, I will order physical therapy and we will have you running a marathon in no time!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dear doctor, Over the last year I have had daily headaches and problems concentrating at work. Now I am having difficulty with my memory and get lost easily. This past week my face went numb, I can't stick out my tongue, and I have double vision. Finally, I started having these jerking episodes that I think might be seizures. I feel like my head is going to blow up! Please help me!!
Doctor #1 Your seizures are not real seizures but I will admit you for extensive seizure testing. It will cost you $38,000 for your inpatient care and testing, sorry about that. When finished we will determine that your seizures are not real and will refer you to a psychologist for therapy so you can learn how to stop making these things up for attention. Perhaps you have an issue with child or domestic abuse and are crying out for help?
~~~~~~~~~~
I need a second opinion DOCS!!!
-------------------- We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand... and melting like a snowflake. Let us use it before it is too late. Posts: 221 | From the hills | Registered: Mar 2006
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5dana8
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7935
posted
pocono Lyme
Dr. Dana here. Ok, You don't have to kiss my feet - you can kneel and kiss my ring instead.
And don't forget to massage my ego on the way out.
I received them finally. But then I didn't remember them again. So....I challenged a synapse and I think I got it! Right now, I don't remember that I'll forget out of the blue, that's true!!
Snowflake,
I think you are spending too much time as a crystalline geometric shape of the winter season....its cold! That's likely why your face is numb.
As for sticking out your tongue, that's for children to do! Grow up!
I don't think you've had a seizure, but we can do an EEG to be sure. I don't think the glue will make your headaches any worse. All those other symptoms sound like you're drinking a lot. Are you an alcoholic? We have a 12 step program. The only other scenario I can come up with is your are a hypersensitive. This means the earth is rumbling under you in seismic activity but it is subtle and you're body is like a richter scale for it. How does that sound? Sorry though, there's no cure and nothing we can do for you other than just, well, let's just pray.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I haven't read a book in years and they are spoon feeding me simple tasks at work. It has done some real damage to my ego. Dr. Dana, can I have some of yours?
Dear Dr.
I have racking pains and fever and chills every day for months. Plus my teeth are killing me. And sometimes I'm not breathing. Can you heal me?
Hey doctor, why am I always tired? Feels like my "get up and go" got up and went.
Carol
[actual statement from my former duck: "Everyone is tired! I was tired this morning, but I just WENT ON with what I was doing! Everybody has this idea that they should feel GREAT all the time!!!! ]
Mine:
Doc, I still have this awful fatigue and can't sleep without sleep meds.
[PS...My fatigue is almost non-existent....I'm lying here! ]
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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Carol B
Unregistered
posted
Lymetoo Don't go on vacation with anyone named LymeMomToo or you won't even sleep with sleep meds-she snores too loud !
Duck: I'm having trouble sleeping because someone seems to leave the radio on at night. Everybody goes to bed-the house is quiet except for this music that keeps playing-and I have yet to find the damn radio!
posted
Carol... YOu are having music hallucinations. I guess you are going crazy. [from the duck]
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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TheCrimeOfLyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 4019
posted
Hey, I didn't play alone. Lymetoo didnt list a complaint.
Lets list one for her.
DIAGNOSE LYMETOO:
Lymetoo has been having nausea for several days surmounted with a massive headache. To top that off, she is having what appears to be small hemorraghes in the eyes- resembling that of Satan incarnate.
What could be wrong with Lymetoo? Anyone, diagnose her.
-------------------- You want your life back? Take it. Posts: 3169 | From Greensburg, Pennsylvania | Registered: Jun 2003
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Carol B
Unregistered
posted
Lymetoo's diagnosis-from one whose been there- HANGOVER -tooo much Lime in the Coconut, just ask LMT.
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lymie tony z
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5130
posted
I knew someone would suggest I peed on my feet!
I probably did!... I'll have to make sure my golf shoes are waterproof!
lymetoo said she is always fatigued....well that's simple...
She's online too much and has too many friends she's helping...
Instead of being up all night helping folks you should be more stingy with your time and get some sleep! This obsession you have is probably your only problem...who do you think you are? Mother Tereasa or something?
These feeling of needing to help all the time probably stems from the fact that you're child number three in your family...the fixer syndrome!
Take some xanex,zoloft and amitryptolene and veg out somewhere so you won't keep calling me and asking what's wrong with you...I don't have time for stuff I don't know about!
I like this thread...
Hey just Don...is somebody accusing us of the ole "reach around"???
Heavens to brokeback mountain.....LOL....zman
-------------------- I am not a doctor...opinions expressed are from personal experiences only and should never be viewed as coming from a healthcare provider. zman Posts: 2527 | From safety harbor florida(origin Cleve., Ohio | Registered: Jan 2004
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Carol B
Unregistered
posted
If I don't quite "get" this game -don't blame me-Remember I'm just a lyme brain impersonating a duck. But keep up the thread and may be it will click eventually and I can collect my fee- actually I charge $500. The harder it is for me to make sense of your symptoms the more I charge.
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TheCrimeOfLyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 4019
posted
I have a new complaint this morning: This one is simple, even the BEST of ducks can diagnose THIS one. Listen closely
I was walking in the woods yesterday and picking flowers with my kid. We both have this RED, itchy rash all over us. The more we scratch, the more it itches.
Gee doc, what can ya gimme for this?
-------------------- You want your life back? Take it. Posts: 3169 | From Greensburg, Pennsylvania | Registered: Jun 2003
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posted
All my patients need to join my spinning class! I just came from there and I feel great! Wooheeee! They're sick and I'm not!!!
(Remember, don't schedule any patients on Monday Wednesday or Friday between 11 and 2 so I can go to my class. Oh-and I see my massage therapist every Thursday at 3 so nothing after that either. And my broker is going to call me today at 10 so clear my schedule until 1)
Posts: 353 | From Florida boonies | Registered: Nov 2005
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5dana8
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7935
posted
TheCrimeOfLyme
You and your family have poison Ivy. Apply some calamine lotion as needed.
That will be $200. Each. ( I need a new sun roof for my BMW)
-------------------- 5dana8 Posts: 4432 | From some where over the rainbow | Registered: Sep 2005
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Carol B
Unregistered
posted
Dr. Nebula-is spinning class the same as pole dancing? Cause I hear you can get a rash from that ,too !
Dr. Duck: I scream and holler at my husband all the time so he doesn't come home much.
I scream and holler at my kids all the time, but they just scream and holler back.
I scream and holler at my co-workers,too-One day I went into work feeling indispensible, the next day my supervisor put me out on disability.
Please don't scream and holler at me and tell me I am a "difficult patient".
TheCrimeOfLyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 4019
posted
CarolB:
You yell all the time huh? I think you have inability to whisper or talk rationally syndrome. There is a treatment for it- electrical shock. It's a very common disorder.
I offer it here. The fee is 1000.00 per treatment, and you will need 10 of them. Our office handles financing through various loan companies.
Doctor: I know you gave me antidepressants for my non relenting headache, but they have gotten worse. Im now running fevers of 103.00 on a cyclic basis. I just feel like something is wrong with me. HELP
-------------------- You want your life back? Take it. Posts: 3169 | From Greensburg, Pennsylvania | Registered: Jun 2003
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NP40
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Member # 6711
posted
Doctor: I know you gave me antidepressants for my non relenting headache, but they have gotten worse. Im now running fevers of 103.00 on a cyclic basis. I just feel like something is wrong with me. HELP
Crimelyme, you've certainly come to the right place. I'm going to run a battery of unneccessary tests, scans, MRI's, spinals and lab works to get my kickbac...........err........to rule out anything major.
Secondly, my Big Pharma rep came in today with a bribe.........err............a strong recommendation on a new prescription med which may help you enormously.
A lethal mix of ritalin/vioxx/prozac should have you back in "Stepford" mode in no time. Obviously, you're suffering from "Housewife" disease. Fevers are commonly associated with lack of sexual response to your husbands needs. Making your children clean their rooms and eat a decent meal are commonly associated with headaches. Why do you insist on being such a nag to your family ?
In reality, your biggest problem is "Munchausen by Proxy". You're a worry wart/hypochondriac. I'll be following up to make sure you continue taking your strong cocktail of meds to initiate the stupifying effects you so cravenly need.
Hey doc, my joints are really painful, I have a sore throat and I get these eye floaters all the time. Any help ?Posts: 1632 | From Northern Wisconsin | Registered: Jan 2005
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Carol B
Unregistered
posted
Funny- my therapist actually suggested electrical shock for real-just three days ago ! So you are right on !
I told her all I needed was a hole in the head and did she have a shotgun? She didn't think that was very funny. I was just trying to shock HER.
I think they already tried to suck my brains out with an MRI recently. Maybe it was just my imagination. Then again-maybe they succeeded!
You're good at this game C of L.
We need an outlet for the insanity that is Lyme Disease.
Dear Duck: I fall down a lot. My co-workers call it the Pluto Dance the way my arms and legs go flying. Feels like I am skating on ice with patent leather shoes. And sometimes I don't know which way to turn the pages in a book-is it right to left or left to right? Could this be related to Lyme Disease?
posted
Patient NP40:Hey doc, my joints are really painful, I have a sore throat and I get these eye floaters all the time. Any help ?
Duck: You want pain? go to an orthopedic duck and get some cortisone shots for those joints. Stop screaming and hollering at me cause I'm not listening anyway and maybe your throat won't be so sore. As for the floaters-sit back and relax and pretend they are part of a video game-see if you can move them to the top of your vision-that's what I do, mostly when I am driving.
Don't forget to pay on the way out-that's $200 per symptom. Anything else????
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quote:Originally posted by lymie tony z: lymetoo said she is always fatigued....well that's simple... ---------------------------------- This obsession you have is probably your only problem...who do you think you are? Mother Tereasa or something?
These feeling of needing to help all the time probably stems from the fact that you're child number three in your family...the fixer syndrome!
OH MY GOSH!!! How did you know I'm the third and last kid in my family!!??? Guilty as charged!!
COL....I really do get this game...I was trying to help two people at once. Oops, Mother Teresa again!
Carol....I think you've got it now!!
OK...now I forgot the last person needing help....ARRRGGH!! May have to go back and start over now.
==============================
Carol...This falling down stuff needs to stop. Maybe you need some orthotics. They will help make you more stable on your feet.
NO! You don't have Lyme disease!! Everybody thinks they have LYME disease!! It's delusional parasitosis!!
Yes, you're in here too frequently!!! I like the money, but you really need to allow others to see me too! Let's be more compassionate for others, OK!!?? -------------------------------------
Dear Dr I keep feeling like I'm going to faint [old symptom]. I've only fainted twice, but I feel like I'm going to several times a day.
Please help!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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posted
Lymetoo-You are an OCD shopper and spend too much time in flourescent lighting which brings on NMH.
Try gardening and raising chickens. Chasing chickens is good exercise and gardening will keep you out of the grocery store and under the healing benefits of natural sunlight.
But always do a check for ticks after gardening. You might get Lyme Disease and then I would have to put you on antibiotics for THREE WHOLE WEEKS.
And you thought I was a DUCK. Shows how much you know.
Actually don't worry about Lyme Disease-you don't live in an endemic area anyways.
Sincerely, Dr. Wool over my Eyes.
-------------------------------------------------- Dr. Run Around, I have to pee all the time-and it hurts when I do and when I don't. And my honeymoon was 20 years ago. So don't go there.
This all started a month after Dr. Wool over his Eyes treated me for Lyme Disease. He knows a lot about lyme disease because he follows the IDSA guidlines. So what do YOU think? Should I just buy more stock in POISE ?
posted
Thanks Dr Wool Over my Eyes, That must be it! Can I pay you in chickens??
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Tired? Take two aspirins and call me in the morning! Dr Smart**s
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Dr, Can you tell me why I have headaches all the time? I have night sweats and chills too. Oh, and sometimes my heart does flip flops and beats too fast. What's wrong with me??
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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5dana8
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7935
posted
"Doctor...Doctor...
Give me the news....
I got a bad case of lyme...
and it's given me the blues..."
-------------------- 5dana8 Posts: 4432 | From some where over the rainbow | Registered: Sep 2005
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cantgiveupyet
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 8165
posted
aww lymetoo it seems to me you have a crush on Dr wool over his eyes. Now dear please try to calm down all those flip flops of your heart are not good....and those sweats are not good...you are loosing lots of salt with thos sweats.
Go home and get some rest, clean the house or watch some soap operas...anything to keep your mind off of Dr wool over his eyes. Oh and your secret is safe with me
-------------------- "Say it straight simple and with a smile."
"Thus the task is, not so much to see what no one has seen yet, But to think what nobody has thought yet, About what everybody sees."
-Schopenhauer
pos babs, bart, igenex WB igm/igg Posts: 3156 | From Lyme limbo | Registered: Oct 2005
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