Topic: From a no longer frequent visitor and infrequent poster
David95928
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3521
posted
I haven't LEFT and I will probably continue to drop in if I don't get banned for writing this. However, I need to comment on a lymenet trend that I think has been fairly clear for several years and how it has affected my participation.
To begin with, I don't think I have gotten into a major spat with anyone. But, it's been my displeasure to witness a few. The outcomes have been depressingly consistent. Veteran members are attacked by newcomers with quesionable motives and street cred and are subsequently banned by the mods. We don't need a list of banned veterans. We all know who they are.
Lymenet was a life saver for me. Members here helped me figure out why I was crashing and burning, helped me find a doctor I still see six years later, helped me stay the course through a six month herx, and supported my long-term remission. Subsequently, I came around daily, spending about an hour per day on-site trying to help others.
These days, I see an increasingly politicized environment that seems more focused on counting slights than helping Lyme sufferers. It leaves a bad taste and results in my logging onto the site a few times a week and rarely commenting. The thing is, that I'm one of the success stories and think I have hope to share.
Enough.
Dave
-------------------- Dave Posts: 2034 | From CA | Registered: Jan 2003
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Tincup
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5829
posted
Good to know you are feeling better and the site helped you!
TF
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 14183
posted
Regarding your second paragraph, I am sorry to say, Dave, that I have seen this also and it is very sad to me.
Posts: 9931 | From Maryland | Registered: Dec 2007
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Tincup
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5829
posted
"It leaves a bad taste and results in my logging onto the site a few times a week and rarely commenting."
Yes, it can get rowdy here sometimes, no doubt. There have been over 24,000 different people here that have joined as members. With a crowd that big, well, it would be difficult NOT to have problems at some point or another.
But... luckily some folks stayed through the hard times and troubles when they popped up ... troubles that can occur any where on internet sites and boards and in real life too ...
To carry out a mission and kept assisting others to help ease their pain and suffering.
I hope since you've been offered help through good times and bad, you will be able to do the same. If a break is needed, do take one. That is the only way I can remain 1/2 sane here.
posted
David, we are TRYING!!! This is HARD! Especially when mods know the whole story and board members know half the story.
Please PM us suggestions if you have them. Be specific. And, please understand that we meet in the middle somewhere. We are trying. We want to make it a good place for everyone and we are open to suggestions on how to make it better.
Thank you for posting; your post is both respectful and to the point. People around here fighting the battle need to see people like you and I who are well. People like you and I need to rise above the bickering and continue to post because we care.
That's why I took on the moderator job, I can do it, and I care about the people here.
-------------------- sixgoofykids.blogspot.com Posts: 13449 | From Ohio | Registered: Feb 2007
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posted
I would love to hear your success story Dave. I find so much hope when I hear of success stories. It is so hard when we feel so sick and all we see is "sick" around us. It is uplifting to hear that we can get better from people that have.
I hope you continue to share your success. I know it would mean so much to me and I'm sure many others.
-------------------- Never, Never, Never give up! Posts: 395 | From Connecticut | Registered: Nov 2008
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posted
HI David! Good to see you again! I'm glad you're doing well!!
Yes, we could always use your help and expertise!!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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springshowers
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 19863
posted
I think the Mods are doing a good job. And I can not imagine it is easy.
And I can say that because I hear what Six is saying. We have to assume there is plenty we do not know and just trust that they are doing the best they can and that is what they are here for..
There is no way any of us can really objectively judge them or how they handle things because of this lack of knowing all information.
Poor Six has been on here trying to explain to the best of her ability and try to explain this so that the judgement of the moderators will stop too.
I have seen many things go on here on and off and butting of heads over certain things that seemed like could be fixed so easily with compromise.
And .. that might be the issue to some point and thats too bad....
I want to tell the moderaters i think your doing a good job.. and I actually think better than in the past. I see more listening and more communication and access to the moderators. They are more involved and more present here.
That is a good thing..
Thanks..
Posts: 2747 | From Unites States Of America | Registered: Apr 2009
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posted
let's hear it for being part of the solution. very positive thread. lots of coming together for the solution.
Posts: 830 | From Colorado | Registered: Mar 2005
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sometimesdilly
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9982
posted
Six-
maybe it would help if you can explain why posts and whole threads with opinions that moderators disagree with simply disappear?
threads that discuss moderators seem especially subject to being erased. i've been here long enough to see many rounds of food fights in the past that involved at one point or another direct criticism of moderators, including that directed at Lou B.
members were banned sometimes, yes, and i know there are always differences of opinion about whether the bans were warranted or not.
unlike what is going on now, though, Lou B didn't stoop to censoring criticism of himself or other moderators. He simply wasn't threatened by the criticism.
He knew criticism came with the territory, he didn't take it personally, and as a result he floated above the flying food... he in short, MODERATED.
-d
[ 12-07-2009, 09:48 AM: Message edited by: sometimesdilly ]
Posts: 2507 | From lost in the maze | Registered: Aug 2006
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posted
I would just like to add to this discussion that I was muzzled for asking a rather valid question-why are some members allowed to post their doctor's name and protocol in finite detail (thinking of Metallic Blue) and others are chastised for it (Tracy9).
My question was never answered- so I kept asking-until I received a warning pm from SGK to knock it off. All I wanted was a simple answer-never got it.
Seems I was being disrespectful for wanting to clarify something.
Posts: 365 | From Sylvania | Registered: Aug 2008
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lymemomtooo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5396
posted
I am unsure if my daughter would be alive today if it weren't for Lymenet, a support group leader and a few wonderful llmd's..So that said, I wish there was less anger on the board but I also understand many are suffering..
It is also easier to let it fly to someone you don't know and will never have to talk to face to face.
I for one am also disappointed that over the years many of those with volumns of info have disappeared. Some have moved on by themselves, others have been hurt and some have been given a big boot.
I also would agree that some skunk matches were messy. I got sucked into a couple and am sorry if I hurt any INNOCENT people.
I know the moderators have a hard job. I could not do it and am thankful that others are able and have the time..It isn't always the moderators at fault..THis I know..
But all of us need to not be so unkind to others when they post. If you feel violent about a post..Leave the keys alone for awhile and try to cool off. Then if you must, make as civil a comment as possible..Do not be mean or snide.
Some of our members aren't able to handle mean criticism. Now when it is calm and constructive and with civil explanations, or with agreeing to disagree, that wouldn't hurt anyone.
I have been gutted a couple of times on and off of lymenet but I try to still lurk to help if I can and sometimes to seek advise. Our issues are complicated here..
But I remember a couple of years ago..maybe 3..When a mom was desperate for help for her child with Lyme and type I diabetes and she was brutally attacked on here for not following someone's advise. It was mean spirited and the help the mom needed will never be received because she left tearfully.
ANd it wasn't me..This desperate mom was from somewhere in New England. I have seen this so many times..
Many have been upset about being told how to post. Well, that is a legitimate issue, but did anyone try to dig to the core of this to try to figure out a better solution than that which has occurred?
I think Six has tried.
I did...I explained to the person why I typed the way I did and it was a non-issue for the poster. She really is a compassionate person. She has always tried to make this board better and was only trying to help the majority of us.
I pray she will come back but I doubt it. Her world here was rocked pretty hard and not just by the final outcome.
I hope for a cure but in the meantime, please can we all be kinder at least for this Holiday Season. lmt
Posts: 2360 | From SE PA | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
JR, if a doctor's name AND protocol information is posted and has not been deleted, it is most likely that a moderator is unaware of it.
If you see it, please click on the "Report Post" icon at the bottom of that post. This will notify the moderators of that forum, and will provide a link for easier fixing.
-------------------- Jenifer Stolow LymeNet.Org Webmaster Posts: 318 | From Upstate New York, USA | Registered: Feb 2001
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David95928
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3521
posted
I posted a mild and conciliatory response earlier today but it has disappeared. It did post. Go figure! Dave
-------------------- Dave Posts: 2034 | From CA | Registered: Jan 2003
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pmerv
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 1504
posted
Sometimes members read too much into things moderators do.
Just one example: something you post disappears.
Well, this sometimes happens on the internet for no known reason. You don't have to go on a witch hunt or imagine that someone is out to get you.
Or take criticizing moderators. If you do it publicly, you are disrupting the space which is supposed to be focused on support and information. If you do it privately, the moderator may not like it, but at least they can deal with it. They may even agree with the criticism and change something.
Some folks are very tetchy. Moderators do have lives. They may not want to spend the entire day and night on their computer explaining every little bitty detail to a member who has taken offense at something and who will probably not buy our explanation anyway. Sorry folks!
Then there's the hair-trigger brain-impaired members. Nothing against the brain-impaired except sometimes they need more time than we have to offer.
Moderating can be a tough job and there is an awful lot of traffic on this site. It's amazing that with a clientele of individuals with a disease that's known to affect brain function, it's as good as it is.
Last word: LymeNet is only as good as the people on it, so take blame or credit, whichever you deserve.
Thanks Moderators and all others who give their time freely to help strangers! Thanks all who are patient and give the benefit of the doubt. Thanks all who think twice before hitting the send button. Thanks Marc Gabriel for setting this group up - the first internet site on Lyme disease. I don't know if it was his idea - if not, whose was it?
-------------------- Phyllis Mervine LymeDisease.org Posts: 1808 | From Ukiah, California, USA | Registered: Aug 2001
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treepatrol
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 4117
posted
Yep I have seen it to. Its very sad to watch. I think some comes from ....... well Lyme. And some from differances. And some from lack of reasoning power. And lack of experience in wielding power. Everyone needs too remember that we are different and temper your thoughts as best as you can. Unless your a actual troll or spammer then banning should only be for short periods say after everyone has calmed down. Everyone have a nice Christmas
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