Ocean
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3496
posted
Going through a bad bad time, husband (been together 11 years, married 7 years, 3 kids) told me last night he has had multiple affairs in the past year....had unprotected sex, now I have to go get tested for STD's...I'm very afraid I could have HIV as the myoclonus started this past spring, he started screwing around the fall before and online myoclonus can also be caused from HIV.
I'd never had myoclonus before even with 12 years of Lyme....guys, seriously, I haven't slept in 25 hours, I can't eat, I'm really really scared and angry....staying at my parents with the kids right now.
posted
Oh geez Ocean, I am so sorry. And angry and upset for you.
I'll be thinking of you and hoping everything checks out o.k.
Hang in there. *big hugs*
Posts: 423 | From Upstate NY | Registered: May 2009
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Dekrator48
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18239
posted
Ocean,
Been there and done that....only my ex never admitted it...I had to follow and videotape him.
I am so sorry that you are going through this.
I remember the sick feelings. Through the grace of God and good decision making on my part(after 16 years!), I got through it...and you will too.
I will pray for you, that you do not have any STD's and that you will heal from this trauma....whatever you decide to do.
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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joalo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12752
posted
My first husband had multiple affairs during our short marriage. When I later got sick with lyme (and didn't know it) I thought I was dying of AIDS.
I remember feeling totally violated. I got through it and you will, too. I'm sorry you are going through this hell.
Why does this crap always happen at Christmastime?!
-------------------- Sick since January 1985. Misdiagnosed for 20 years. Tested CDC positive October 2005. Treating since April 2006. Posts: 3228 | From Somewhere west of the Mississippi | Registered: Aug 2007
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map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
Ocean, so sorry you are dealing with such pain and uncertainty.
Why are you and the children living at parents? I believe he should be living elsewhere and you and the children are at home!!!!!!!!!!
Take care.
Pam
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6495 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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merrygirl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12041
posted
what is wrong with men!!!!!!
Posts: 3905 | From USA | Registered: May 2007
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Ocean
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3496
posted
Thanks guys...ugh. I just don't even know how to feel. I did find out they were just casual encounters apparently people do that now on sites like craigslist and things.
Pam, we just came to my mom's last night so they could help with the kids and I wouldn't be alone. I am planning to go back to the house tomorrow. I just don't know if I want to be there or not, my husband and I fixed up that house and worked really hard on it, I just don't know, reminds me of too much.
FOund out he's got a huge addiction to porn, going on 14 years now! Why is porn even allowed?? Seriously??
Ugh...
Thank you all, still haven't slept, everything makes me nauseous, ect.
posted
Oh honey! I'm sorry to say I went through it too. It was the worst pain I had ever known, and I wasn't even in love! He wasn't even that good to me in the first place, but I'd been there and had my child, so there was no way out.
I was just stuck because whenever I tried to leave, he'd put me through intense family court proceedings. Be aware that ANY father, (regardless of his behavior) can wage a costly and emotionally traumatic custody war, if he is so inclined.
This would sound odd to anyone not caught up in it, but if you see the custody pages located at StopFamilyViolece.org, you will see the worst of the worst having no trouble waging and winning custody wars-even with proven histories of violence (forget about keeping kids from cheaters). Like health care it's all about the money.
My God, I too had Lyme and thought I was coming down with AIDS!
I've been through it in the worst of ways, and I'd be happy to help you along too. It's a tough decision you face, and it wasn't until I went through this (and physical abuse from my ex) that I learned where women's rights *really* stand in this country.
We were forced to mediate seven times (each costs thousands and takes months) with four different mediators in five years! THIS is family court in America, the only way out of Marital Hell! Talk about frying pans and fires!
I too, couldn't eat or sleep for months going through this, and this kind of stress is NO good for us Lymies.
I too, will be pulling/praying for you and PLEASE feel free to contact me if I can be of any help.
-------------------- "SEVEN LYME FACTS THAT COULD HAVE SAVED ME" VISIT ME AT:
Dekrator48
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18239
posted
He needs some serious counseling for the porn addiction...among other things.
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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feelfit
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12770
posted
Ocean,
Wow, this on top of everything else......it is probably his addiction(s) that led him to do these things, at least that is what I get from what you have posted.
IF he gets some serious counseling for his addictions and indiscretions he may have a chance to come out on the other side.
I know that you are probably numb, in shock, etc. .....but things always have a way of working out in the end.....and I wish you wise choices and some peace my friend.....
If ya need an ear, you know where I am.
xx, feelfit
Posts: 3975 | From usa | Registered: Aug 2007
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sammy
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 13952
posted
Oh Ocean, I'm so so sorry. My heart goes out to you.
I will be praying for you and your family. I wish that there was more that I could do.
Big hug
Posts: 5237 | From here | Registered: Nov 2007
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Are you getting tested for STD's? I hope everything comes out negative. You don't need that on top of being sick!
How is your son doing? Thinking of you!!!! ((HUGS))
-------------------- My lyme disease blog: http://lymetimes3.blogspot.com/ One BIG Lyme family! I tested CDC + 10/08 My mom Igenex + 11/08 & My brother Igenex + 4/09, My 2 boys some + & IND bands, clinical diagnosis 3/09 (youngest has Aspergers too) Posts: 470 | From Painesville, Ohio | Registered: Mar 2009
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