Topic: Relatives and the crap they put you threw --->>
groovy2
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6304
posted
Hi All --
Many of you have had to go threw the Hell that relatives can put you threw about not believing that you are sick or in pain - Its all in your head--No one can be that sick --
Quit Feeling Sorry for your self -- You just a ***** -- Be a Man - -and All of the other hell that people- friends- doctors and relatives can say to you --
Well my father has said and put me threw ALL of the above and Much Much more--
I am visiting him with the rest of my relatives because today is his 92 birth day --
Me being the type person I am decided to let him getaway will ALL of the Mean and Rotten things that he has said to me threw the 20 Horrible years that I have been sick --
Well on this visit I decided to Finally have it out with him and tell him what a ******* he has been for the things that he has said and done to me ---
Now let me fill you in on a few other details of what has happened over the last 2 years--
My Mother who was a Saint - A person that that never said a bad word to me or any one else that I know -- Died 2 years ago from cancer
She did have her doubts about my illness but it is some what understandable because what we go threw is Really a Horror story that unless you have been threw the gates of this Hell like we have is beyond most peoples Imagination -Experience- Knowledge-
Most people Only Go threw a few hours or weeks of Real Pain in there Whole Life --
Well My father now has been threw some loneliness for the last 2 years but he is in Good shape and is able to get out of the house and my 3 sisters and I phone him several times a week and visit him every month -- Most of his friends have died already But he did have friends --
So Really not a bad life at all --
In my case I decided not to put my friends threw watching me wither away because really No Good would come out of it and I would just be wasting time in their lives---
Threw these 20 years I never received even One phone call from my sisters but I do not hold it against them because as I got sicker I just slid out of there lives --->
Well tonight after my fathers birthday party I was talking to him about some things and the subject of Him being Lonely came up ---
My Father told me that he Could Not See how I was able to go for Many months at a time and not talk to or see another person --
I told him that it was Not Easy or Fun but that was the cards that I was dealt and I just made the best out of it that I could --
My father likely still has Zero Clue about All the Horrible Pain and Suffering that I had to go threw -- and never will --
But He has been able to See just a Little Bit of what I have gone threw the years --
So Now after the short talk we had tonight I decided Not to Finally have it out with him--
I am telling you all this because I know that Many of you are in the Same boat I am in and that there is still Hope that people in your lives will at some point in time Finally Realize what a Hell that You are Going Threw--->
--Jay--
[ 06-07-2010, 08:31 AM: Message edited by: sixgoofykids ]
Posts: 2999 | From Austin tx USA | Registered: Oct 2004
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littlebit27
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 24477
posted
I'm sorry for what you've gone through. My mom is an RN and doesn't believe me at all. She worked for the NIH and doesn't believe the studies that come out of NIH. She thinks I have fibromyalgia or RA. She doesn't believe me and any time I talk about it she says yeah yeah yeah or immediately changes the subject.
Anyway I'm glad you didn't have it out with your 92 year old father-when I read that part I was thinking "Oh no." No matter how annoying old people are I just can't be mean to them lol.
And I'm also sorry for you that you spend much of your time alone, that is really sad. I've got my husband and lucky for me have friends IRL (in real life) who also have Lyme so we "get it." I also have my kids and my neighbors who are all really supportive-even the RN neighbor!
I'm sure there are Lymies near you-maybe you could find a Lyme friend who gets it? I have brothers but don't talk to them often-it's probably been six months since I talked to one and since 2004 since I talked to the other one. My mom never says how ya doing, and my father well he's a POS that i've only spoken to or see once in the the last oh...12 years.
Keep your head up and I hope your father will start to come around-and sorry for the loss of your mom-even if it was 2 yrs ago.
posted
i can relate... not with my parents though at least... that would be awful! my mom gets frustrated with me from time to time and will occassionally say something insensitive. but she always feels really bad and calls back right away to apologize. she's only human, and like you said, she's never been through it, so she can't understand. but she really does try and care.
personally, i think you did the right thing by not letting your dad have it. he's 92, and not getting any younger. i think you'd feel more guilty when he is gone if you say something than you would if you just kept it to yourself.
i'm sorry he's put you through so much maybe now in all his loneliness he'll start to realize what he put you through... it would be best if he realized it on his own i think.
i know it's hard, but i would just try to let it all go and spend as much time as i can with him before he's gone. that could be a lot more rewarding than telling him off Posts: 220 | From Kansas | Registered: Mar 2010
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
well i for one, have been there done that, and have the scars to prove it.
didn't work for me.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
Hi Everyone, I can empathize for sure- People say they are busy. Some people after asking how your are- cut you short in your reply and ask some-other non important question. Denial that's what it is see if they acknowledge your illness they may feel they have to do something for you like visit or run to the store for you. They can't be bothered. Selfishness - people want you to do for them but don't expect anything back. Loneliness yes but at least your lonely in good company. Groovy I feel hurt for you. I feel my own hurt. I am here for you and so are the others. lemonlime a bit tart and a lot sweet.
Posts: 29 | From arizona | Registered: May 2010
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posted
This is a good story. I am glad your father had a glimmer of insight even if it was only a little bit. Like you, I go long long stretches of time without human contact -- it wipes me out so much I cannot do it much -- and it is grueling, torturous to do so. And I wonder if any members of my family will ever get it.
Posts: 929 | From Massachusetts | Registered: Oct 2007
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maybe now in all his loneliness he'll start to realize what he put you through... it would be best if he realized it on his own i think. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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