13 years Lyme & Co.; Small Fiber Neuropathy; Myasthenia Gravis, Adrenal Insufficiency. On chemo for 2 1/2 years as experimental treatment for MG. Posts: 4480 | From Northeastern Connecticut | Registered: Jun 2005
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momindeep
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7618
posted
So very sorry Tracy...I cannot imagine.
Posts: 1512 | From Glenwood City WI | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
i am so so sorry for your loss he was so young! my heart goes out to you and your family...
Posts: 442 | From usa | Registered: Oct 2010
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Carol in PA
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 5338
posted
Tracy, I am so sorry for your loss.
Carol
Posts: 6947 | From Lancaster, PA | Registered: Feb 2004
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glm1111
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 16556
posted
Tracy,
I am so very sorry that you lost your brother. He looks like a sweetheart. It's got to be very hard to lose a sibling. My thoughts and prayers to you.
Gael
-------------------- PARASITES/WORMS ARE NOW RECOGNIZED AS THE NUMBER 1 CO-INFECTION IN LYME DISEASE BY ILADS* Posts: 6418 | From philadelphia pa | Registered: Jul 2008
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BoxerMom
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 25251
One of my biggest fears is losing my brothers. I am so sorry to hear of your suffering. It must be really hard to bear.
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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17hens
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 23747
posted
Tracy,
I'm so, so sorry. There are no words. Just lots of hugs and tears. We are here for you.
Hens
-------------------- "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalms 73:26
bit 4/09, diagnosed 1/10 Posts: 3043 | From PA | Registered: Dec 2009
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sammy
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 13952
posted
Oh Tracy, I'm so sorry for your loss.
Wish I could reach over and give you a big hug right now.
Posts: 5237 | From here | Registered: Nov 2007
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philly78
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 31069
posted
Oh no. I'm so sorry for your loss.
-------------------- When faced with pain you have two choices....either quit and accept the circumstances, OR make the decision to fight with all the resources you have at your disposal. Posts: 1000 | From PA | Registered: Mar 2011
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posted
Tracy, I'm so sorry to read this and think of all you're going through right now.
I wish word hugs could help...praying for you and your family.
-------------------- Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. Posts: 338 | From NEPA | Registered: Mar 2011
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I'm so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Posts: 227 | From Northeast | Registered: Mar 2010
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Tracy9
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7521
posted
Thank you so much, and the messages on the guest book mean so much....I'm going to get a book printed with all the condolence messages in it.
My brother killed himself, and Blake and I found him. We are severely traumatized and heartbroken. He was depressed and his girlfriend had ended their engagement a few weeks earlier. He had Lyme and Babesiosis but I'm not sure how much it played into his long standing depression and anxiety, or his long term alcoholism. All I know is I can't believe he actually did this.
I'm still in shock. We found him last Friday. He'd been hanging for 8 days. By some miracle his dog was still alive. I don't know how to put one foot in front of the other. I went to the florist today to try and order the flowers but ended up walking out because I thought I was going to pass out or throw up. I couldn't even do it.
13 years Lyme & Co.; Small Fiber Neuropathy; Myasthenia Gravis, Adrenal Insufficiency. On chemo for 2 1/2 years as experimental treatment for MG. Posts: 4480 | From Northeastern Connecticut | Registered: Jun 2005
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Dekrator48
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18239
posted
I'm so very sorry for your loss, Tracy.
God will help you through this very difficult time.
Rely on Him for strength. He will carry you when you cannot walk on your own.
My deepest sympathy to you and your family.
Praying for you right now and in the days to come.
God is holding your beloved brother in His arms now.
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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posted
How devastating, my thoughts are with you and I am wishing you strength to make it through this tragic time.
-------------------- Down on her knees, she wept on the floor. This hopeless life, she wanted no more. Dead in the mind and cold to the bone, She opened her eyes and saw she was alone. ~Seether Posts: 427 | From Rhode Island | Registered: May 2011
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Lauralyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15021
posted
So sorry to hear this thinking of you
-------------------- Fall down seven times, get up eight ~Japanese proverb Posts: 1146 | From west coast | Registered: Mar 2008
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scorpiogirl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 31907
posted
I'm sorry for your loss. Sending prayers to you and your family.
-------------------- Posts: 1391 | From Lyme Land | Registered: May 2011
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jackie51
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 14233
posted
I am so sorry for your loss and for such a shock to your family.
Hugs and prayers to you.
Posts: 1374 | From Crazy Town | Registered: Dec 2007
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momindeep
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7618
posted
How traumatic for you Tracy and your family. I will pray for you and yours these coming days.
Posts: 1512 | From Glenwood City WI | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
So sorry tracy. It's very hard when suicide is involved. My daughter's best friend just killed himself this month. We had the funeral last week. It's so difficult. He was 23 yo. He was one of those people who just lights up a room when he enters. Very few people even knew he was unhappy.
Take care of yourself. Again, so sorry for your loss.
-------------------- One day at a time Posts: 409 | From TX | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending good thoughts and prayers your way.
-------------------- Lyme918 Posts: 188 | From Massachusetts | Registered: Dec 2010
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2roads
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 4409
posted
I too send prayers and a comfort hug your way Tracy.
Especially difficult was that you found him. Maybe seek some grief counciling, I couldn't imagine how I would feel.
Like Tutu said, we, your Lyme family, love and care for you.
Posts: 2214 | From West Chester, PA | Registered: Aug 2003
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
i am so very sorry. nothing can replace a parent, child, or sibling.
my heart goes out to you.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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MADDOG
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 18
posted
Tracy I am so sorry to hear this,lyme people tend to go this way a lot more than non lyme people.
May God comfort you during this time.
MADDOG
Posts: 3996 | From Ohio | Registered: Oct 2000
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Jane2904
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15917
posted
Tracy ,so very sorry for your loss. Sending hugs, Jane
Posts: 1357 | From Massachusetts | Registered: Jun 2008
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phyl6648
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28522
posted
Tracy so sorry of your loss. I can relate as I lost my brother , he was only 28. So unexpected.. Time does heal but you never forget. My prayers that God will comfort you and your family ..
posted
So sorry to read this, Tracy - not easy to deal with this - my condolences -
Posts: 13116 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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linky123
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 19974
posted
Our thoughts and prayers are with you. God bless.
-------------------- 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' Matthew 11:28 Posts: 2607 | From Hooterville | Registered: Apr 2009
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Tracy9
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7521
posted
Thank you so much for your support, everyone. I so appreciate it. Your entries into his guestbook mean so much to me. I am going to have it printed into a hardcover book to keep forever. That will give me something tangible to hold onto. Also my oldest son Ryan is away at Basic Training and I'll have that to show him when he gets home in January. The pain is so, so unbearable.
Here is the link to his guestbook if you want to leave a message. I would love to have all your wonderful messages in one place. I love you all.
13 years Lyme & Co.; Small Fiber Neuropathy; Myasthenia Gravis, Adrenal Insufficiency. On chemo for 2 1/2 years as experimental treatment for MG. Posts: 4480 | From Northeastern Connecticut | Registered: Jun 2005
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lymeladyinNY
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 10235
posted
I'm so, so sorry about this. I know how hard it is to lose a brother, and I feel so badly your loss is so traumatic. I send loving thoughts and prayers to you - hugs.
-------------------- I want to be free Posts: 1170 | From Endicott, NY | Registered: Sep 2006
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joalo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12752
posted
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my brother four years ago and still miss him terribly. He was fifty-four.
-------------------- Sick since January 1985. Misdiagnosed for 20 years. Tested CDC positive October 2005. Treating since April 2006. Posts: 3228 | From Somewhere west of the Mississippi | Registered: Aug 2007
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Rumigirl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15091
posted
Oh, Tracy, this is beyond words!! And for him to have died this way, and you both found him??!! The pain and shock have to be unreal.
I send all of you my love and prayers. I pray that you will be comforted in this difficult time.
Please, please remember to breathe and take care of you, too. It's all too easy to forget that in such a time.
I hope that you have supportive family and friends around to share the burden, especially with everything that has to be taken care of, too.
Posts: 3771 | From around | Registered: Mar 2008
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penguingirl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28688
posted
I'm so sorry Tracy! Prayers to your family.
-------------------- Posts: 1204 | From USA | Registered: Oct 2010
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lyme in Putnam
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 11561
posted
Im so sorry Tracy. These are words, nothing can compare to what youre going through. I'm so sorry. One day at a time. God bless.
-------------------- He took u to it, He'll you through Posts: 2837 | From NE. | Registered: Apr 2007
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posted
Tracy, I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family during these hard times.
-------------------- Contracted Lyme 1999. Diagnosed January 2011.
"The seed of suffering in you may be strong, but don't wait until you have no more suffering before allowing yourself to be happy." � Thich Nhat Hanh Posts: 64 | From North Carolina | Registered: Jan 2011
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Tricky Tickey
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 26546
posted
I'm sorry you've lost your brother.
-------------------- Early Disseminated LD- 2010. Currently doing acupuncture and yoga. Negative Igenex (IND & Pos Bands) ISSUES AFTER: Tendonitis, letter reversal, Low immune system. PREVENTION:SaltC,Iodine,Humaworm, Chiropractic. Posts: 1013 | From In a van down by the river. | Registered: Jun 2010
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posted
Tracy, my condolences to you and your family...You are an amazing woman who gives so much to all of us...we love you and are with you during this difficult time. May God just wrap His arms around you, Blake and your family. Rest in His peace...He will get you through the storm. God Bless You
Posts: 871 | From orange county, ca. | Registered: Jan 2006
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Tracy9
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7521
posted
Thank you so much for helping me through this. The funeral was yesterday; it was very hard but it's over now. It was a beautiful service and our pastor did a wonderful job. There is huge family dissention and I'm getting attacked on every level which is making it impossible to start the healing process. I'm trying to get the arrows to stop zinging at me so I can just try to get my feet on stable ground.
It breaks my heart for my brother that our family has to be this way. I am just trying to detach as much as possible and now that the funeral is over with I don't have to interact with anyone anymore. I hope they will leave me in peace now.
13 years Lyme & Co.; Small Fiber Neuropathy; Myasthenia Gravis, Adrenal Insufficiency. On chemo for 2 1/2 years as experimental treatment for MG. Posts: 4480 | From Northeastern Connecticut | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
Tracy, I'm so very sorry about your brother. I hope you know that you have many friends here and can ask for anything you might need.
Please take care of yourself. It sounds like detaching from your family is exactly what you need right now. I'm sorry they are making such a difficult time worse for you.
I'll be keeping you, Blake and the boys in my thoughts.
-------------------- Take care -kelly --------------- Posts: 330 | From TX | Registered: Mar 2009
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posted
Oh Tracy, after reading that, my heart is breaking for you! I cannot imagine what you must be going through. I am sure you've already heard this but God really will see you thru - just trust in that.
God bless
Posts: 33 | From PA | Registered: Jul 2011
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-------------------- I am not a doctor. I have no clue. Posts: 606 | From somewhere out there | Registered: Sep 2009
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map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
So sorry for your loss. I know your heart is heavy and the load seems to be more than you can bear....
Take care of you and yours. You first, to have energy to help yours.
Pam
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6478 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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BoxerMom
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 25251
posted
Oh my gosh! There is nothing like a dysfunctional family to make the unbearable even worse! I'm sorry they've targeted you. It is cruel and unnecessary.
Hang in there. And take care of yourself. We're all thinking of you.
Tracy9
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7521
posted
I just want to say that everyone here is so wonderful...the most supportive Lyme family ever...you have no idea how much your words and messages mean to me and how much they are helping me to get through these dark days.
I have found an online Survivors of Suicide forum that is helping. It's really heartbreaking to read what others have gone through, but I cannot believe how many people on there have lost a brother to hanging. It's shocking. I really hate in this circumstance more than any other, finding solace in not being alone. I've learned some things, though, found some words of comfort, and it is helping.
I've also found where a support group for Suicide Survivors meets not too far from here, about 45 minutes away. I really want to get to AlAnon, too, I think it would be extremely helpful right now. I wanted to go before just to help deal with all that was going on with him, but now I think it's imperative. I have found some meetings that have concurrent AlaTeen meetings which I think would be good for Cody.
I also made an appointment with a therapist, for this coming Monday. I hope Blake will follow suit. He is going on a Men's Christian Retreat this weekend with our church, so I think that will provide some healing for him.
We are very close to our pastor, his wife, and friends from our church. Our pastor has helped us so, so much. The church is wonderful. I am so glad Blake will be away all weekend on Long Island with our Pastor and other Christian men; I think he really needs some positive healing time.
The family issues are horrendous, but I am detaching. All I want is to be left alone. They have swooped in like vultures. Not one word has been uttered by anyone in my family about how sad they are, how tragic it is, or how awful they feel. I was the only one in tears at the funeral. The behavior of the rest of the family was downright disrespectful and embarrassing beyond belief.
I know my brother knows how much we loved him, and how much we were there for him. We tried everything we could to help him. We were the only ones who noticed he was even missing. I felt him there with me that day, heard his words, saw his tears. He's okay now. He's in heaven. I know he is. We've seen the signs. He took the time to make sure we knew.
God will lead us through this. We will be okay. The rest of my family will stay as dysfunctional as they always were. I know I will see my brother in heaven. He had a pure and honest heart, and I know he had God in his heart.
13 years Lyme & Co.; Small Fiber Neuropathy; Myasthenia Gravis, Adrenal Insufficiency. On chemo for 2 1/2 years as experimental treatment for MG. Posts: 4480 | From Northeastern Connecticut | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
I haven't been on here for a long time but just read this post and am so so sorry for your loss. What a terrible tragedy. My Grandfather killed himself and I know from personal experience it is a particular kind of grief. The Samaritans used to have support groups in some areas for families of suicide victims, but I do not know if they still do.
You must be incredibly traumatized and sad. I hope you can feel the love and support of people on this forum. Your brother looked like a wonderful man.
Posts: 929 | From Massachusetts | Registered: Oct 2007
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daisyrlb
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15686
posted
Tracy9, I have been praying for you and your family since reading of the tragic death of your precious brother. I read his obituary. So sorry for your great loss.
Reading your recent post...you truly are an inspiration. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through and how you're feeling. So thankful you are "meeting up" with others to be an encouragement and support to one another. May you sense the God of all comfort especially near to you.
Lymenet Friends is a unique supportive group. We're blessed here.
I shall look forward to meeting you and your brother one day in eternity.
posted
horrible story, sorry to hear it. sorry you had such a traumatic experience. im sorry your brother was in so much pain. i hope God grants you peace.
-------------------- sick since 9-09 igg, 18,23,41 reactive igm, 41 reactive Posts: 436 | From Kansas City | Registered: Jan 2010
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map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
Tracy, you have strong knowledge of what is best for you in this situation. I feel confident you are taking care of you.
Dysfunctional families are so stressful. So toxic. The last thing someone ill needs is to be in their turmoil.
I know you will protect numero uno!
Pam
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6478 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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sutherngrl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 16270
posted
So sorry for your loss. Will keep you in my prayers.
Posts: 4035 | From Mississippi | Registered: Jul 2008
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he was so young! my heart goes out to you and your family...
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