Topic: Am I making the problem worse. Some Imput Please
tricia386
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 29623
posted
So some background. I got sick after getting the Gardasil Vaccine. Didnt know what was wrong with me for about 8 months. During that time I had extreme anxiety. But that bc I knew their was something wrong with me and I couldnt figure it out.
Got Dx'ed with lyme and coinfections. Started treatment with a crappy LLMD. That give me hives. Moved on to Dr. H on 4/1/11.
I know anxiety is a symptoms of lyme and co's. However, I think I might be bringing some of it on myself.
I am constantly worrying about lyme. Worrying about herxs. Side effects of medicine and supplements or thinking that something else is wrong with me I am constanlty worrying.
I spend most of my day although I do work researching lyme. Being on the lyme board. other boards researching meds and supplements. It consumes most of my daily life. Its almost like I am addicted.
So I pose this question I dont think i will ever know if I am better bc I just keep obessing. My mom brought up a good point its all I think about Its all i eat live and breathe. I make myself upset about it everyday.
I have trouble sleeping and focus so much on it i cant get to sleep and I freak out. Yet when I am calm on Friday night bc I dont have work I sleep pretty well.
So...how do I know if I am causing a lot of the issues? Or if it is infact is the Lyme and co's?
I am seeing a phycologist on Oct 28th. Maybe that can help to clear it up..
Any imput would be apperciated.
-------------------- Lyme activated in April 2010 by gardasil vaccine. DX: Lyme,Babs,Myco,Bart 11/10 Treatment Started: 3/28/11 Posts: 1752 | From Albany, NY | Registered: Dec 2010
| IP: Logged |
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
| IP: Logged |
philly78
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 31069
posted
I can relate. I was obsessing over lyme and cos for a bit when I first got diagnosed. I fact, I would probably still be obsessing if I didn't have other things to worry about!
Seeing the psychologist should be helpful. I saw one and she really helped me quite a bit.
Maybe you can try scheduling a time of day when you allow yourself to do this obsessing. Maybe 30 minutes o an hour, you look online, post on messgae boards and do what it is you do when researching lyme. When that time limit is up...you're done.
This is much easier said than done and will probably take some practice. It can be helpful though. I did something similar in the past when dealing with a different problem. It was beneficial for me.
You also have to realize that worrying changes nothing. It is not productive...at all! Sometimes we think it is subconsciously but it isn't. Maybe you can try some exercises online that deal with cognitive behavioral therapy or ACT? There are some good resources out there.
-------------------- When faced with pain you have two choices....either quit and accept the circumstances, OR make the decision to fight with all the resources you have at your disposal. Posts: 1000 | From PA | Registered: Mar 2011
| IP: Logged |
Dogsandcats
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28544
posted
I tried to divert my thinking by watching tv, listening to music or playing a game.
Doing anything but thinking about it helped me.
-------------------- God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.
Billy Graham Posts: 1967 | From California | Registered: Oct 2010
| IP: Logged |
tricia386
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 29623
posted
cleo- No I am not on an anti-depresset
I think a lot of my anxiety is brought on by me.
I just wish I could figure out if its me or if its the bugs??
Any suggestions
-------------------- Lyme activated in April 2010 by gardasil vaccine. DX: Lyme,Babs,Myco,Bart 11/10 Treatment Started: 3/28/11 Posts: 1752 | From Albany, NY | Registered: Dec 2010
| IP: Logged |
posted
I understand obsessing about Lyme for I have done it many times. What helps for me, is each morning, I think of a catch word I will use to break the cycle. Today it was "Dali Lama" and tomorrow it might be "Peace". The word I choose does not matter, but breaking the cycle is what really counts. I find obsessing can lead to negativity, and rightfully so, but I am trying to hard to break the pattern and it is working for me. Another thing I use to do is put a special rock in my pocket and each time I was wandering down that obsessive highway I would take it out for a moment and remind myself to stop. Lastly try some visualization and imprint your setting in your mind. You may want to Google visualization techniques. I hope this help and may you find what works for you. climber
Posts: 108 | From Connecticut | Registered: Jun 2010
| IP: Logged |
tricia386
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 29623
posted
LIke its got so bad now i dont sleep at night. And I work full time. The minute I try and fall asleep I worry I wont be able to sleep and that i will wake up and not be able to go back to the sleep.
The harder a try to sleep the harder it is. I think I am my own worse nightmare
-------------------- Lyme activated in April 2010 by gardasil vaccine. DX: Lyme,Babs,Myco,Bart 11/10 Treatment Started: 3/28/11 Posts: 1752 | From Albany, NY | Registered: Dec 2010
| IP: Logged |
posted
I noticed on one posts here the other day that Bartonella is infamous for causing worry, worry, worry.
From my own experience the anxiety & worry along with the infections seems to go hand in hand.
Have you always been this way, or is it something that only developed after you had the Gardasil injection?
Be easy on yourself, Tricia.
I know it may seem like you are doing it to yourself, but honestly, these infections are capable of messing with you in exactly the way you describe.
If it gets worse, look into getting a script for one of the anti-anxiety meds.
I don't take them unless it's REALLY bad, but have found both xanax as well as Klonopin to be life savers.
Just don't pop them like candy as they are not something you want to develop any dependency on.
EFT as well as Flower Essences such as Bach Flower Remedies can really help alot.
Posts: 192 | From New England | Registered: May 2011
| IP: Logged |
tricia386
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 29623
posted
Thats what I am treating now. But I was like this b4 I started treating it.
I feel like I am being tourtred. I am scared of SSRI's
-------------------- Lyme activated in April 2010 by gardasil vaccine. DX: Lyme,Babs,Myco,Bart 11/10 Treatment Started: 3/28/11 Posts: 1752 | From Albany, NY | Registered: Dec 2010
| IP: Logged |
posted
I've never taken an SSRI. I've always taken either tri-cyclics or trazodone. Helps!!
Depression can put you on a cycle as you describe. Intense worry and OCD.
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
| IP: Logged |
tricia386
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 29623
posted
Ugh I am so confused and want it all to end. I havent slept prety much in 2 days
-------------------- Lyme activated in April 2010 by gardasil vaccine. DX: Lyme,Babs,Myco,Bart 11/10 Treatment Started: 3/28/11 Posts: 1752 | From Albany, NY | Registered: Dec 2010
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by tricia386: Thats what I am treating now. But I was like this b4 I started treating it.
I feel like I am being tourtred. I am scared of SSRI's
I hate SSRIs, too. They make me very manic and crazy.
The two meds I was referring to are not SSRIs, and don't cause any problems for me.
When I cannot sleep for days and days on end, they are what I turn to.
If you were like this beforehand, that makes sense -- b/c you were infected with Bartonella.
You do not necessarily only see the symptoms when you are treating, although they do often amp up.
Often, those symptoms come about because of the initial infection, Tricia..
Posts: 192 | From New England | Registered: May 2011
| IP: Logged |
tricia386
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 29623
posted
Hmmm...Im just trying to piece it together.
See friday night i was calm and I fell asleep. Now that I have such anxiety. I cant sleep and I dwell all day on it. I think i am doing a lot of this to myself.
I think my physcologist appt will help. What do you guys think
-------------------- Lyme activated in April 2010 by gardasil vaccine. DX: Lyme,Babs,Myco,Bart 11/10 Treatment Started: 3/28/11 Posts: 1752 | From Albany, NY | Registered: Dec 2010
| IP: Logged |
jackie51
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 14233
posted
I see you're like me. You are obsessing about obsessing. :-)
Because of everything that goes with lyme, there is so much to educate ourselves. It is very easy to spend hours learning everything one can. Don't beat yourself up over this. We've all done it.
Now that we have learned a little, then we know how little we really do know. We also now know so much more than our doctors, who we've entrusted with our care over the years.
Good luck with your appt. Maybe try to do some things in the evening which are conducive to sleeping. Hot bath, relaxing music, etc.
Posts: 1374 | From Crazy Town | Registered: Dec 2007
| IP: Logged |
tricia386
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 29623
posted
ugh this sucks
-------------------- Lyme activated in April 2010 by gardasil vaccine. DX: Lyme,Babs,Myco,Bart 11/10 Treatment Started: 3/28/11 Posts: 1752 | From Albany, NY | Registered: Dec 2010
| IP: Logged |
bcb1200
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 25745
posted
I have herd severa prominent LLMD's state that the patients which tend to do better are ones who go out and live their lives...not obsess on the internet.
-------------------- Bite date ? 2/10 symptoms began 5/10 dx'd, after 3 months numerous test and doctors
IgM Igenex +/CDC + + 23/25, 30, 31, 34, 41, 83/93
Currently on:
Currently at around 95% +/- most days. Posts: 3134 | From Massachusetts | Registered: May 2010
| IP: Logged |
tricia386
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 29623
posted
Its crippaling....If it is the bartonella how long does the herx last?
-------------------- Lyme activated in April 2010 by gardasil vaccine. DX: Lyme,Babs,Myco,Bart 11/10 Treatment Started: 3/28/11 Posts: 1752 | From Albany, NY | Registered: Dec 2010
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by tricia386: Ugh I am so confused and want it all to end. I havent slept prety much in 2 days [/QB]
- That is a sign of depression. Depression can cause anxiety. Fix the depression, fix the anxiety.
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
| IP: Logged |
tricia386
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 29623
posted
well I dont want my life to end.
I just want to sleep.
I worry about not sleeping
-------------------- Lyme activated in April 2010 by gardasil vaccine. DX: Lyme,Babs,Myco,Bart 11/10 Treatment Started: 3/28/11 Posts: 1752 | From Albany, NY | Registered: Dec 2010
| IP: Logged |
posted
I once had depression following a major surgery. I did not feel sad or anything, but I could not sleep more than 2 hrs a night (fitfully) for 6 weeks!!
At first they tried anti-anxiety meds. Didn't really help. Finally went for a tri-cyclic and within 5 days I was "fine." Whew! Not sleeping is torture.
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
| IP: Logged |
Lauralyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15021
posted
I can relate.....eat, sleep, breathe, talk lyme. All the millions of hours I spent researching lyme helped immensely. And herxes are very scary because we never know when they'll end.
But I did go to concerts and movies as much as I could. Having a strong interest in something definitely helps.
Have you tried meditation to eliminate stress? I think it could really be beneficial and the best part is it's free.
How about EFT(also known as tapping) There is some good videos on youtube explaining how to do it.
-------------------- Fall down seven times, get up eight ~Japanese proverb Posts: 1146 | From west coast | Registered: Mar 2008
| IP: Logged |
Lauralyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15021
A lymenet members very kind friend made this video for her. It explains how to do EFT very simply.
As kooky as it looks it actually does work. Even just tapping your finger tips on the forehead is effective. I've done it in the car when I get anxious about something.
-------------------- Fall down seven times, get up eight ~Japanese proverb Posts: 1146 | From west coast | Registered: Mar 2008
| IP: Logged |
posted
I'm the same way, worry, worry, worry and obsess about things. I know I think about lyme and read about it way too much, but I can't seem to help myself sometimes.. just desperate to feel better.
I am not on anti-depressants either, although I've seriously considered them at certain points. I know there are some natural things that can help with depession (like 5HTP, which I think is suppose to help with seratonin levels).. I may try some of that soon.
I also almost always sleep better when I know I don't have anything to do the next day. It's a real relief.
Hope you feel better soon.. go easy on yourself.. treatment is so hard, just be as kind to yourself as possible.. try watching some funny movies or try to read a book that you find interesting.. I know those things don't always help, but it's worth a shot. Take care.
-------------------- "The simple things can get you through the hardest times." Posts: 628 | From Connecticut | Registered: Sep 2010
| IP: Logged |
The Lyme Disease Network is a non-profit organization funded by individual donations. If you would like to support the Network and the LymeNet system of Web services, please send your donations to:
The
Lyme Disease Network of New Jersey 907 Pebble Creek Court,
Pennington,
NJ08534USA http://www.lymenet.org/
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
Printer-friendly view of this topic