Gotta rant a little bit. Only you guys can ever understand this! My parents are well-meaning (and also sick, I am sure of it, but they don't want to make the proper changes to seek real help),
but they don't fully understand the gravity of Lyme, co-infections, and Candida (which now seems to be thriving the most in my body).
My mom is suggesting, nay, insisting, that I read this book called The Divided Mind by by John E. Sarno. The author claims that every ailment is psychosomatic.
That what your body feels is actually caused by your mind which is putting your attention on your symptom while there's actually an underlying subconscious issue that you have to get through in order to truly resolve your physical pain.
And last month, I tried to read it, but it truly angered me, because from what I read so far, there's no scientific back up to his theories and claims (except case studies).
Likewise, he lacks knowledge about diseases like syphilis, Lyme Disease, Candida, other infections which can mimic different symptoms
that are caused by bacteria messing with your immune system, nervous system, digestive system, mineral and vitamin intake, neurotransmitters, etc.
My mom thinks my overreaction to foods, fragrances, chemicals and my neuropathy and chest pain and occasional depression/anxiety is because I have some unresolved subconscious issue that I should bring attention to.
She thinks I don't have Lyme anymore because the test is negative, while all my practitioners claim that I definitely have it and it isn't something you can diagnose by lab diagnostics alone.
It makes me feel very invalidated. She insists I read the book again because it will help me psychologically.
I honestly feel horrible even thinking about reading it. The issue is that I also have very strained relationship with my parents from time to time (for the most part it is good).
If I don't do as she says, she may flip and I really can't take more stress when I'm trying to heal. Ugh. So frustrating.
I fully understand there's also psychological healing involved. I don't deny that. I know the importance of reducing stress and trying to surround myself with happy things and be optimistic about my treatment.
That is what I am doing. But claiming that my symptoms are because of unresolved emotional issues is bogus.
(breaking up the post for easier reading for many here)
Tincup
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5829
posted
I'd be upset over this situation. VERY upset. So sorry you are having to deal with it. I have an idea. First, since it is your parents at least let them think you are reading it. You need to keep the peace for your sake.
There is a very good Lyme literate psychiatrist in your state. Tell your folks you've decided they might be right and you want to get checked out.
Then if you go to him he can "examine" you and then tell your parents the situation. I am pretty sure they won't take YOUR word for it, so having a psychiatrist tell them...
That should stop this GARBAGE!
Here is his website since we aren't allowed to say doctors names here.
Carol in PA
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 5338
posted
Many years ago I read John Sarno's book about back pain. He suggests keeping an attitude of hopeful expectancy, waiting to see what positive changes your body will have after reading the book and following his suggestions.
It was amazing, less than a week after I finished his book, my back pain was vastly reduced, almost gone. This effect lasted for more than a year, and made my life so much easier.
You may not be able to resolve all of your issues, but reducing even one of your symptoms would make it easier to cope.
After extensive reading, I suspect his reasons for why he thinks his programs work may be misguided, but are easier to understand than quantum physics.
Also, look into the importance of magnesium and fish oil to reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. And look into PEMF, pulsed electromagnetic field therapy, to speed healing and eliminate pain.
"There's more than one way to skin a cat."
Posts: 6947 | From Lancaster, PA | Registered: Feb 2004
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And thank you Carol for your suggestions. I have sensitivities to supplementation, but I am addressing this issue with AAT, which has been very helpful in reducing my symptoms quite rapidly and getting me more focused and balanced emotionally.
I am glad your back pain went away. I don't deny that there's psychosomatic disorders. I've experienced them myself in the past, which resolved when I addressed the core emotional issues.
However, I don't believe what I am currently experiencing is because of some emotional traumas or because my brain is sending me diverting signals due to my unconscious mind.
What I am experiencing is because of the bacteria creating havoc in my system. And it is quite upsetting that the author reduces Lyme to a psychosomatic epidemic.
I don't deny there's an emotional component. It has been very helpful for me to meditate/exercise, laugh a lot (watch/read funny things),
release my emotions when they're bottled up, not get upset over silly things, and keep a positive attitude about my healing overall.
What upsets me is that the author reduces many serious illnesses to psychosomatic disorders, illnesses that can kill you.
And he has no scientific proof for his case studies or how they're being run (are they in an open environment or are their controlled studies).
And yes, he makes an excuse that it is hard to verify and quantify what he does, but even alternative medicine like acupuncture and qi gong have scientific studies and articles written about them.
What upsets me even more is that my mom reduces my illness to psychosomatic symptoms and doesn't believe I have Lyme or Candida anymore because the tests show negative. That I am overreacting. Ugh.
It hurts when the ones you love doubt you even if you show them all the scientific evidence, even when your practitioners are on your side.
(breaking up the post for easier reading for many here)
Tincup
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5829
posted
You said.. "It hurts when the ones you love doubt you even if you show them all the scientific evidence, even when your practitioners are on your side."
Yes, it really does. I believe I'd rather have no support than that kind, sorry to say.
Authors like the one you speak about can really mess up people. That is sad and it should be criminal.
Please keep following your heart and your instincts. Many of us have been in your situation in the past and although it took a lot of work, we finally were confirmed to have physical problems with an infectious foundation so we could begin treating.
I told my mom today (couldn't sleep well last night because this was bothering me) that I don't want to read this book. Surprisingly, she said ok.
Posts: 74 | From Lawrenceville, NJ | Registered: Dec 2016
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Jordana
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 45305
posted
I was just thinking about this today. It's true that your mind can drastically alter your experience of illness.
I have a lot of inexplicable neuromuscular issues and if I could stop them from happening through positive thinking, believe me I would. But at the same time, the fear and helplessness and confusion are just as bad as the symptoms.
We experience our whole world through neurotransmitters in the brain; especially our physical state.
Changing brain responses could be the entire key to healing really. But as far as I know no one on earth actually knows how to do that.
(breaking up the post for easier reading for many here)
me
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 45475
posted
Tepidautumn, I'm sooooo sorry. I know how terribly painful this is. I wrote many posts similar to yours for many months while my family relations were very, very strained.
Although my mom and dad have come around some, I think it is more they know not to suggest this is a mental/in my head thing bc it always ends in a huge argument and crying and they see the progress I've made since starting antibiotics.
They went to two psychiatrists with me who told them I really have lyme and it wasn't in my head and they STILL weren't convinced. They wouldn't educate themselves or listen to me when I tried to educate them. It brings up anger just thinking about it.
One sister still tells me it's in my head. It made me so mad that I called her a name, and that is very, very uncharacteristic of me. Like super uncharacteristic. Bottom line is I was so mad bc it hurt soooooo much.
You are not alone in this. I'm so sorry that your family doesn't understand the reality of the situation and sorry that you hurt.
The good news is you found a great group of people to support you. Hugs.
-------------------- Just sharing my experiences, opinions, and what I've read and learned. Not medical advice. Posts: 1431 | From USA | Registered: Mar 2015
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posted
Well, your mom is wrong and so is the book for us, since we have real biological entities that are making us sick.
So what to do about it? Ultimately you need the right kind of medical care to get better, so to think about how that can happen, because that's what you're going to need.
Personally I think you're correct to tell your mom you don't want to read the book and to assert yourself so she has to start dealing with you as you are and as you know you are.
I think there is a certain feeling of freedom that comes when we speak from our authentic truth and knowledge.
Sounds like a lack of education too. This is a complicated situation, made worse by established medical fields not validating the illness.
There's a list of 27 reasons why Lyme testing might not come back positive even though we have it - the list is in the sticky at the top of Medical Questions called Important Information about Lyme and Co-infections -
scroll down to see the list. Don't know if it could be printed out but your family is lacking education about what this is all about.
The more we actually understand about this illness, the better equipped we are to discuss it.
Now that I understand some stuff about it, I get real firm with people, and it's in my tone of voice as well that I'm not going to tolerate nonsense. And I need to be clear on the facts of the medical situation in order to do that.
I usually walk people through it, as in ask -
1)Did you know that the bacteria causing Lyme disease are similar to the bacteria that cause syphilis?
2)That both are spirochetal, meaning squiggly wiggly bacteria (a cute way to put it - we can use some humor to lighten up the situation a little) that get into the brain and nerves and cause inflammation, and
3)Also can burrow through tissues and cause inflammation?
Then I see how people respond, since I am giving them a picture of the entities and how they respond.
I see whether people are following me on what I'm saying, if they have any curiosity, if they ask me questions, if they begin to discuss how it works, etc. Then I know I have people I can talk with.
But if they fight the basic information I'm trying to impart, I don't choose to waste my time with them, and I move on to another topic, or literally move away from the relationship.
The more you can come to learn the facts as much as we know them at this point in time, the better equipped you will be to explain. And if I don't know the answer, I just say that's a great question, I'll check it out and get back to you on that one.
There's another level of this that can be tried - depends on how it works out, which is to address the frustration, as in
"I don't feel I'm being heard, I don't feel I'm being understood, and this makes me feel very frustrated here." And see where that goes, because now we're addressing the relational dynamics.
Listening is important, especially when someone else is telling us their perceptions. And if they're on, validate them, because that's where they're coming from,
and if they're off, then, "I understand what you're saying and I hear you, but in my case, I think something else is going on." And I get right back to a factual discussion and see whether we can have a discussion like that or not.
Posts: 13116 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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Thank you guys so much. I appreciate your support. It is nice when someone truly understands you.
My mom brought up the book again today. And she kept repeating I would benefit from it because it's our minds that control our symptoms and create psychosomatic disorders.
I kept explaining to her about Lyme, how serious of an infectious disease it is.
She kept saying that this disease doesn't have specific symptoms and could be appropriated to many other illnesses. And she brought up if I really had it, the test would show positive. Same for Candida.
Really frustrated me. Breaks my heart when my parents don't believe me.
(breaking up the post for easier reading for many here)
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