posted
Meanwhile, the Winter Texans were planning their trips back home in the spring. They couldn't wait to get back home to their families where they would SHARE everything they experienced in Texas......
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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quote:Originally posted by just don: And for the hundreth time(oops post),,,,why DID the chicken cross the road????
What chicken?? [/QB]
Perfect answer! Did anyone ever answer the question before with a question?
Just Don, doesn't sound like your chicken ever got to cross the road. Some chickens can only dream of doing so.
"Son, some day you might get outa here and be able to cross the road. I suggest you not eat much anymore
and that way, you'll look too scrawny for their purposes and you might be skinny enough to escape outa here to see that great big world out there."
This conversation occurred recently on a chicken farm. Chicken McNugget took his mom's words seriously and began eating lightly so as to have a chance to get outside and cross the road some day.
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kam
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posted
It wanted to get to the 2010 Winter Olympics!!
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just don
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posted
The WHOLE troupe of animals had a top level meeting and decided they liked the super bowl so much,,the partying in New Orleans,,they just could NOT quit now.
Off to the Olympics they trudged. One following another in single file,,maybe they would find a better 'mass transit' method along the way when all of a sudden.....
They waved to Kam as they passed by her house since it was HER idea to make the next 'leg' of the journey!!!
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kam
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able to read JD's...not able to read the other posts yet...thanks JD ...that was fun
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Oh my gosh, there is definitely some fast-track traveling going on here -
and a lot more state lines being crossed, since that IS one of the goals of our animals and ticks, is to show that crossing state lines can be done, so
that takes care of a few more southern US states, with a wave-off at Kam's, and now they're on their way quickly up to Canada, whose border infected ticks also aren't supposed to be able to cross either -
Our duck tick transporter, Herman Duckville, was much enjoying this adventure as well - he was up for carrying his tick cargo to their next destination. He had heard BC was beautiful and wanted to experience it for himself, along with frequent lake stopovers along the way -
The next question of the day:
How would our menagerie and ticks fare in the cold? I mean, we're talking a rooster and a hen, an armadillo, a raccoon, a possum family with a couple little ones, all of whom have put on a little more weight from their partying in New Orleans,
to say nothing of Moby Tick, Who Dat, Who Me, a couple other tick friends and Herman Duckville, our duck tick transporter -
Plus: Was there going to possibly be a way for our menagerie and ticks to participate in the winter Olympics?
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posted
Why didn't Chicken McNugget cross the road?
'Cause he was still captive on the chicken farm, on a diet and hatching a plan to get out...
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'Cause his balance wasn't very good any more, nor was his eye sight, his hearing was too acute, he was tired, he didn't really care - he thought he'd just stay around the house and see if he could manage to watch some TV, maybe the Olympics - he did like sports -
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daisyrlb
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posted
While some chickens were crossing the road,
and other chickens had visions of crossing the road,
and while the hunter didn't have very good vision and didn't feel like crossing the road,
the WHOLE troupe of animals along with their "tick cargo" crossed many roads as they rolled, hiked, and trudged along toward Canada and the Olympics.
They were out of "no man's land" (where they saw kam) and passed the "Middle of midwest" (where they spotted jd). But now they were starting to feel the cold of the crunchy snow, not to mention the time crunch. The Opening Ceremonies were going to be starting soon.
Just then, as luck would have it (they are the luckiest GROUP of party goers ever) they spotted a u-haul rental truck parked in front of an apartment complex. The hen swooned, "There is my hero--Ohhhh, the Bald Eagle flying over beautiful mountains." But on closer look, huh?! what?! Hand made signs on both sides of the u-haul, they couldn't believe their eyes the words read, "Alaska or Bust, via Vancouver".
The WHOLE troupe of animals, along with their tick passengers, jumped up and down with glee, they just knew this was their ticket north.
The back of the u-haul was jam packed with stuff and two guys and a gal were talking while drinking hot chocolate. The GROUP over heard the three, "I just love all this snow we've been getting here this year. This is the push we needed to make that move we've always dreamed of. And in unison they yelled, "Alaska here we come!" Then they said, "Cheers" and clinked their mugs of hot chocolate together--that sealed the deal. As they continued talking a scurry of activity took place.
Some of the ticks quickly jumped off their hosts, including host Herman Duckville, and made a beeline for the three human hosts. Moby Tick led the way. The ticks, although grateful for their past hosts, were ready for a change. Ahhh, nothing like the taste of human blood. They scurried up the sneakers of the unsuspecting humans, made it under the jeans into familiar territory and claimed their spots.
Meanwhile the rooster (who was a little perturbed at the hen's reaction to the Bald Eagle--it was just a painting!), the hen, the armadillo, the raccoon, the possum family, and Herman Duckville...
posted
...counted state lines until they met the Big One, the cross-country line. They were truckers, not skiers, as they easily cross-countried the Big Line. They were not even noticed as their transport was waved through.
They managed to navigate their way to Vancouver just before the opening ceremony. They had a blast with all the easy food pickins on the cold ground, and cold it was, considering where they had just come from.
Our ticks did not meet their Canadian brethren due to the cold, so they made due with rapid attachment to unsuspecting Olympic visitors.
In fact, they devised their own Olympics sport - to see who could attach, imbibe and then drop off the quickest. So far, with the clock ticking, the fastest time was 18 seconds!!
Our menagerie marveled at the opening ceremony from under their respective seats. They couldn't get enough of just how inventive humans can be!
And how considerate humans were to include their animal friends in their ceremony.
Our group decided to enroll in some animal games.
The raccoon went for Garbage Rummaging. The possoms signed up for Possum Drop. The armadillo liked the idea of Snow Waddling.
Herman Duckville met another duck who told him: "Ahab a cold, but I'm still here to compete." "In what?" asked Herman. "In the Quick Quack competition," answered his new friend.
Herman heard "Ahab, I'm cold" and thinking Ahab was his name, signed them both up for duck quick quack pairs as Herman Duckville and Captain Ahab.
The white-footed mouse qualified for Mouse Dart, a competition between mice to see which mouse could dart the fastest across snow without being seen.
And everyone, well, they were ecstatic, since they had already viewed an aviary champ, Aflac, affectionately known as Afquack, on a snowboard, with a decent time! An inspirational start to the menagerie's high expectations for some Olympic dreams of their own.
They all
[ 02-18-2010, 04:09 AM: Message edited by: Robin123 ]
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kam
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LOL That was fun!
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daisyrlb
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were having so much fun and LOL for sure. kam.
Watching that miscommunication between Herman Duckville and "Captain Ahab" had its own kind of fun and funny.
The menagerie was laughing so hard that they had tears streaming down their faces. They grabbed their sides as they fell to the ground rolling with laughter.
They were all quacked up as they repeated, one after the other , "Ahab, Ahab, Ahab!"
"A ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha"
But then, a hush, and a seriousness came across the menagerie. One by one they got up, dusted themselves off and grinned at each other.
The games! The GOLD! A vision of Afquack on that snowboard flashed across their minds. Watching Afquack was one of those once-in-a-life-time-inspirational-experiences and each contenstant in their Olympic Sport, whether it be the
quote:Originally posted by kam: [QB] LOL That was fun!
WAY too funny, Robin!!
Loved the quack part and this too:
"In fact, they devised their own Olympics sport - to see who could attach, imbibe and then drop off the quickest. So far, with the clock ticking, the fastest time was 18 seconds!!"
daisy..."The GOLD! A vision of Afquack on that snowboard flashed across their minds."
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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daisyrlb
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posted
Robin, you really should write a book. You are very gifted. I am so enjoying your creativity and posts!
Come on, Robin, you're really a published author, right? (Come on "spill the beans".) If not, you should be.
Everyone involved, YOU are making this such a fun read. Can't wait to read what you're gonna write, so I can see what happens next.
Posts: 2188 | From Oklahoma | Registered: May 2008
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posted
It was then that, or rather, now, that yours truly realized she missed one of your earlier tags, so there it is...
daisy, the novel is happening here, now, in prime time, with NBC covering all the twists and turns. Special report coming soon!
Hi and welcome to Amanda!
The next morning, which was like now, since who sleeps through the night anyway? our hunter awoke to find a message on his answering machine from his girlfriend who was berating him for not having got in touch with her for Valentine's day.
It was then, or rather, now, that he realizes he doesn't even know the date anymore. "What is happening to me?" he says now. He picks up the phone and leaves a message, saying, "
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just don
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Happy Valenticks Day!
-------------------- just don Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001
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We are! The return of our novel adventures in Vancouver!
We have breaking news that some of our menagerie have scored big! For instance,
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posted
our Mouse scored big in the Mouse Dart - managed to evade all tourists as it scuttled across the snowy Vancouver pathway route, and won...the Golden Cheese!
Our possums have done well too, especially the young ones - they learned quickly how to drop and curl up to look just like little balls of snow.
When adult possum judges could not spot them on the snow, our youngun possums popped up to reveal that indeed they were NOT snow but baby possums, and they were awarded the Olympic Snowpuff!
Our raccoon made an interesting discovery during his Garbage Rummaging trial run - he discovered a kam-corder that still worked, so he began recording the Olympic events of the menagerie.
He wants to thank their sponsor, Kam, for having sent them all to the Vancouver Olympics!
Further footage has now revealed that
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posted
Oh, switching channels here for a sec - the hunter's girlfriend heard the odd statement on her machine - Happy Valentick's Day - ??? -
was something wrong here? Couldn't he talk right anymore? Was he on drugs?
She thought she'd better make a house call to check. When she arrived at his house,
Posts: 13171 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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posted
The Olympic schedule continues...... a rather petite entry in the female skating event has taken the audience by storm. Russian Suzy Swan,leaving Swan Lake, has skated her first practice session and shocked the other competitors with her talent.
The favorite to win, Canadian Girly Goose, stomped off the ice in a huff because the attention was diverted to Suzy.
All the worldly competitors come complete with traveling companions commonly known as Poli"ticks". They, of course have their own agenda. The IOC ( International Olymp"ticks" Committee ) have their legs full of controversy.
All the Poli"ticks" are in training. Building up their front and back legs while they courageously hold on to their prospective host during practice sessions. They have arrived late in the game due to the weather so they will be beginning their game of influence tonight.
As the menagerie of competitors gears up for competition, the Poli"ticks" move into position to fly,jump, twirl,and attach onto the judges panel . Their sinister agenda....to influence the outcome of the Olympic games in figure skating. More drama to come....
[ 02-17-2010, 09:04 PM: Message edited by: sk8ter ]
Posts: 871 | From orange county, ca. | Registered: Jan 2006
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posted
Welcome, Sk8ter and sk8ting drama!! We look forward to the unfolding of sk8ting events, dare we say even some controversy?
InBC announcing today: Another menagerie sporting event occurred suddenly and briefly today - the Mo' Gulls.
It was a Flash event, evidently posted on Gullnet last night, calling for gulls from all over the world to fly into Vancouver today and gather at their respective countries' Olympic sites, with the greatest numbers winning.
Tourists were surprised to see evergrowing groups of gulls arriving by the minute. Mo' gulls and mo' gulls! And mo' gulls!! they cried, not realizing that was indeed the name of the event.
It was evident that Canadian gulls were the most numerous, followed by US gulls, with Siberian gulls taking the bronze.
It did appear to be an event that favored the host's location, but it was just a Flash event and all in fun.
The gulls did manage to drop off a new crop of international ticks in the Olympic landscape.
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kam
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posted
Thanks for putting a smile on my face Robin.
OK we had the valentick day
Olympic Tick
[ 02-18-2010, 11:28 AM: Message edited by: kam ]
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-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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kam
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posted
Whewph..they all made it across the road
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posted
well, Just Don, maybe you'll be relieved to learn that yours truly's mental health was checked out and it was found that plenty of borrelia bacteria had slipped through the quacks and were presently ducking all opportunities to vacate,
prompting this author to exclaim: "Waddle I do?" Given that odd bill of health, yours truly could only wing the rest of this contest,
which, being a Quick Quack contest, favored those duck pairs with the quickest quacks.
The French ducks, the Dux and the rubber ducky/Gary Larson pair advanced to the final duckdown.
The author duly noted the growing size of the duck audience for this showdown, appreciating, as Kam noticed,
that more ducks had indeed made it across the road, many roads in fact, to be in the cheering Vancouver duck audience by the edge of the frozen Olympics duck pond.
Many of them, in fact, were beginning to consider their own quick quack potential and who they might partner with for four years from now...
Our own Lymenet Lymetoo was there too, staying with her husband in a Canadian Holiday Inn, which they found to be as comfortable as the ones south of the border.
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posted
This thread is fun. You guys are awesome story tellers. Posts: 423 | From Upstate NY | Registered: May 2009
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map1131
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posted
Oh Kam, thanks for the visual. They do look happy. Thank goodness I'm not a chicken, I hate cold and winter. I'll just stay in the barn.
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6495 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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Carol in PA
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quote:Originally posted by Robin123: Oh, switching channels here for a sec - the hunter's girlfriend heard the odd statement on her machine - Happy Valentick's Day - ??? -
was something wrong here? Couldn't he talk right anymore? Was he on drugs?
She thought she'd better make a house call to check. When she arrived at his house,
When she arrived at his house, she knocked at the side door and let herself in.
She walked into the kitchen to find the hunter dishing out some ice cream.
"Hi," he said, "you want some too? You'll never guess what I found in the freezer...my cell phone! And yesterday when I tried to put my socks in the hamper, I lifted the toilet seat and put them in there! I swear, I must be going nuts."
"Hah," said the girlfriend, as she sat down at the table with a small bowl of ice cream, "And here I thought you already were."
"Have you been watching the Olympics?" the hunter asked. "I kept falling asleep and missed most of it. I'm just so tired lately."
"Oh, the new sports are so fun. They....."
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posted
...are actually featuring some unusual scenes, like the other day tourists noticed enormous numbers of gulls gathering at Olympic sites -
almost like they were having their own Olympic event - wouldn't that be funny if they actually had any concept of an international Olympics event -
oh well, I must be getting as cuckoo as you lately - anyway, maybe watching some of the Olympic achievements will be good for your morale -"
The hunter promised her he would check in with the events from time to time. If he could remember to do so - he seemed so out of it these days. He wondered if
Posts: 13171 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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posted
And now for the finale of our duck Quick Quack pairs event! Afquack, our TV duck snowboarding star, was the honored judge, along with a few quack-counting assistants.
The Dux, an elegant pair in ducktux and tails, took the gold, followed by the French pair with l'argent, and the rubber ducky/Gary Larson pair took yznorb.
Afquack, recognizing the popularity of this contest, called a special post-event demo by all contestants, as well as tourist ducks. The ensuing duckdin party will never be forgotten in Vancouver menagerie Olympic history:
Then Afquack bestowed a special prize on all contestants: he promised them that he would insure them for life, such that if they ever became unable to fish, that fish would be provided for them.
And off he went on his snowboard down the hill. The ducks partied until the wee hours!
And how were our ticks doing?
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
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posted
I don't know about the ticks but the vessel for their bacteria is tickled pink at the creativity and fun of this thread.
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Dekrator48
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posted
The ticks were feeling a little sluggish in the cold weather, but were managing to function amid the body heat of Olympic-goers.
Moby Tick was so engorged that he thought he would throw up again!
Moby knew that when he threw up into his fleshy human lunch that he would feel better and be able to eat more again.
He taught the smaller, more inexperienced ticks how to make the most of their meals.
They decided to all meet up at one of the Olympic parties being held that evening at a local resort.
They all agreed.....finish lunch by 2 pm so they can detach and drop off of their host.
They would meet at a predetermined place to catch a ride to the party on the Service Dog of a party attendee.
Tonight they would par-teeee!!!!......
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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posted
Yes, Moby had discovered the value of bulimia at the Vancouver winter games - the more the merrier...His friends took to teasingly calling him Mobylimic.
So it was on to the party! Some traveled by service dogs, some by nearby royal Canadian mounted police, both on human and horse,
and some enterprising ticks even found a moose to jump onto which was giving moose-mobile rides around town to top-touristy Vancouver sites.
Arriving at the party resort, they found a large number of humans on the plentiful Chesterfield sofas enjoying their 24-beer cases -
"We've come to yet another yummy Olympic site, eh?" And with no sorry apologies, settled in for a good evening's time...
[ 02-24-2010, 05:34 AM: Message edited by: Robin123 ]
Posts: 13171 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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posted
Now we'd like to catch up with another of our menagerie sporting events: the Armadillo Waddle.
It was a first at an Olympic games, the idea that contestants would pick up points for going outside the lines,
which in this case were two parallel blue lines drawn on a gently downhill slope, the object being for the four-footeds to stay within the lines while waddling as far as possible outside of them.
Armadillos from several countries vied for glory, showing off their various waddling styles, including the poky dawdle Waddle, the cute coddle Waddle, the speedy throttle Waddle, the elegant model Waddle,
but for our Armadillo, what he was going to most remember from his Armadillo Waddle experience is that is where he met Ermadillo, who was willing to waddle away with him after the event...
[ 02-24-2010, 05:37 AM: Message edited by: Robin123 ]
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The chicken Hop'NPeck event, the object being to hop as high and far as possible in 20 seconds and then peck at the snow as quickly as possible in the following 20 seconds. If any chicken landed a bug, bonus points would be awarded.
When our ticks heard about this event, they made sure to all be attached to a warm-blooded nonchicken by that time.
Our chicken and rooster did very well in the event and were awarded the Shuster Rooster award, a knock-off of the curlers' Shuster Rooster. Our champs decided for next time they would prepare to ride atop a curling stone instead of hopping.
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daisyrlb
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
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posted
Fun read and LOL!
Ticks are a lot smarter than they,re given credit for. . .
Posts: 2188 | From Oklahoma | Registered: May 2008
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Our own Lymenet Lymetoo was there too, staying with her husband in a Canadian Holiday Inn, which they found to be as comfortable as the ones south of the border. [/QB]
I WISH!!!
We went to BC about 20 yrs ago. It was AWESOME!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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posted
Closing ceremonies at the winter Olympics were underway. Our menagerie decided they wanted to enter in with the human athletes.
All of our menagerie scuttled/rolled/hopped/waddled/shuffled/winged in except for our ticks, who, as daisy noted above, were smart enough to realize they had excellent easy meals awaiting them in the stands.
Our menagerie was very proud of its Olympic champions! Our Mouse led the way with the Golden Cheese, followed by the baby possums with their Olympic Snowpuffs and their proud parents in tow.
Our rooster and chicken had done well in the chicken hop'npeck event and occasionally demonstrated their winning Olympic technique in their stadium entry.
Our duck contingent was quacking each other up with their many Olympic utterances. Herman Duckville was impressed that Canadians knew how to party as well as his friends in New Orleans. Captain Ahab had by now gotten over his cold but still kept his name since it was a good joke.
They had even convinced Afquack to join them. What a honor! Never one to duck an opportunity, Afquack came with his snowboard. He was a true Olympic media hero.
Our armadillo and Ermadillo only had eyes for each other and had to be reminded later by the others what transpired at the closing ceremony. Something about a bunch of singing in Russian.
Did they know any animals in Russia? They'd all realized they enjoyed a good party. They'd all have to start practicing adding sky and skaya at the end of their utterances if they were to consider meeting up at the next Olympics.
Herman Duckville thought he'd try a practice run: Laissez qu-a-a-a-a-ckskaya les bons tempsky!! He might be the first duck ever to quack Frenchian!
Our raccoon brought up the rear guard with his kam-korder which was his finest acquisition during the raccoon garbage rummaging event, and he was making sure to have as much of the closing events rekorded as possible.
He even managed to rekord a few seagulls who flew into the stadium who had participated in the mo'gulls event and decided to stay on for the rest of the Olympics.
...............................................
There was a point at which our hunter decided to turn on the telly for a little bit of the closing Olympic events.
Spotting the animals during the athletes' entrance, he rubbed his tired eyes, then looked again. He could swear that raccoon, that possum, that armadillo there, that chicken - that group! - he could swear he'd seen them before!
His girlfriend had chided him during his confessions of mental confusion, including his viewing of the animals at the superbowl halftime. She had exclaimed to him then: So why don't you go see a hypnotist and get to the source of your crazy visions?!
At this point, he was ready to consider doing just that in the week to come. That, or undergo a mental check-up at a local hospital...
As he continued to watch the closing ceremonies, he thought, well, his crazy visions truly weren't that much different from the giant beavers and giant flying moose and canoes with dancing duos in them or the flying maple leaf lady butterflies - maybe it was time to laugh a little about all the craziness...
[ 03-01-2010, 05:43 AM: Message edited by: Robin123 ]
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
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posted
That was fun. I was so glad to see that the Chicken was still out and about for March.
The luck of the Irish I guess.
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