Sarah Palin: Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken, cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.
Barack Obama: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!!
John McCain: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
Hillary Clinton: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
George W. Bush: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
Dick Cheney: Where's my gun?
Colin Powell: Now, to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road. (or Gen Schwartzkopf)
Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
Al Gore: I invented the chicken.
John Kerry: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it. It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now and will remain against it.
Al Sharpton: Why are all of the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
Dr Phil: The problem we have here is that this chicken doesn't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
Oprah: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So, instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
Nancy Grace: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty!! You can see it in his eyes and in the way he walks.
Pat Buchanan: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
Grandpa: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
Barbara Walters: In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
Aristotle: It is the nature chickens to cross the road.
Bill Gates: I have just released "eChicken2009," which will not only cross roads but will lay eggs,file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of "eChicken2009." This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.
Albert Einstein: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
Colonel Sanders: Did I miss one?
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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aklnwlf
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 5960
posted
That was hilarious TuTu!
Especially Bill Clinton's.
-------------------- Do not take this as medical advice. This comment is based on opinion and personal experience only.
Alaska Lone Wolf Posts: 6918 | From Columbus, GA | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
funny
Posts: 365 | From Sylvania | Registered: Aug 2008
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- Thanks for the laugh out loud. Being old enough to have familiarly with each of those "questioned" - I enjoyed each answer being so spot on. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
Jay Leno: We're now going to go outside and ask a whole bunch of people if they know why the chicken crossed the road.
PG move rating: we don't know - no fowl language allowed here.
Gilbert&Sullivan: It is the very model of a modern chicken road-crosser Its information vegetable is a kickin' ode-tosser It knows its wings for anglin' and it votes for flights historical From one side to the other "cause I can", its categorical.
Posts: 13171 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
Tooooooo funny Tutu! I'm going to share with my friends.
Pam
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6495 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
hilarious
Posts: 983 | From FL | Registered: Dec 2002
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joalo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
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posted
-------------------- Sick since January 1985. Misdiagnosed for 20 years. Tested CDC positive October 2005. Treating since April 2006. Posts: 3228 | From Somewhere west of the Mississippi | Registered: Aug 2007
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Dekrator48
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18239
posted
IDSA: There is no real evidence that chickens even exist.
But, if a chicken did exist it would definitely take a shortcut across the road.
At that point studies show that there would never be a need for that chicken to ever cross the road again.
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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sutherngrl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
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posted
Love it!!!!
Posts: 4035 | From Mississippi | Registered: Jul 2008
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posted
Fine - we know all about the chicken, but tell me why did the tick cross the road?
Posts: 13171 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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emla999/Lyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12606
posted
quote: Robin123 said:
Fine - we know all about the chicken, but tell me why did the tick cross the road?
To get away from the chicken!!!! Posts: 1223 | From U.S.A | Registered: Jul 2007
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More reasons why the tick crossed the road, please...
Posts: 13171 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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Dekrator48
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18239
posted
Robin asked...
Fine - we know all about the chicken, but tell me why did the tick cross the road?
Because the tick was approaching a state line and we know that there is no lyme in many states!!!
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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posted
Very embarrassing to be banned to Off Topic!! So humiliating!!
Acrostic?? Oh my .. who's nuts now??
Robin, it's FRENCH.
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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lymemomtooo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5396
posted
crying fowl...no the opossum did not cross the road. He tried. Have you ever seen one make it..
the chicken crossed to show him it could be done. Mr. O didn't make it..maybe he was too busy scratching tick bites to notice the truck.
Posts: 2360 | From SE PA | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
No, lymemomtoo, I have not personally seen an opossom cross the road. So maybe our newscaster got it mixed up with a raccoon.
So for the sake of Just Don's accounting, add the raccoon.
Anywho, our little band hadn't been gone long when they decided they were hungry and needed a bite to eat. So they found a...
Posts: 13171 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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Dekrator48
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18239
posted
Robin said...
So for the sake of Just Don's accounting, add the raccoon.
Anywho, our little band hadn't been gone long when they decided they were hungry and needed a bite to eat. So they found a...
.....tired hunter who was just sitting down on a log to eat the lunch he packed.
The chicken, armadillo, oppossum, and racoon each knew their only hope was to rustle the bag lunch away from the hunter and the other hungry creatures.
The tick, on the other hand, licked his lips and smirked as he made a bee-line straight for the hunter's pant leg......
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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lymemomtooo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5396
posted
I am not sure but think if the racoon is hungry enough, the chicken might be his lunch..I have seen a mean raccoon before..THink they could devour anything.
The ticks of course could hook a ride on anyone,for lunch or taxi service but not sure they would get far on the opossum.
Posts: 2360 | From SE PA | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
Yes, mealtime could be complicated for this group. However, each to their own - our armadillo got happy rummaging in the dirt, our chicken nibbled on nearby grass, the raccoon espied some recently-discarded garbage,
and Moby Tick and his pals, observing the distracted chicken, made a safe crawl over to the unsuspecting hunter, clambored aboard, found an open patch of skin just above the sock line and with palpable interest, settled in for a slow drink.
Our hunter had no idea of the twist of Lyme fate he had just incurred causing a cross-over to the ranks of the hunted.
The opossum, not having made it across the road, found itself some small edibles and resigned itself to the use of an IPhone to stay in touch with its adventuresome pals.
Then, the
Posts: 13171 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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daisyrlb
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15686
posted
And then our furry friends and feathered friend seeing the dangers of the 5pm traffic, decided to back off from the road.
Walking single file through the tall grass, they were unaware of the ticks perched high upon the top of the blades of grass.
The ticks were hungry, as it was their dinner time, and
Posts: 2188 | From Oklahoma | Registered: May 2008
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sutherngrl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 16270
posted
The ticks were hungry, as it was their dinner time and.....
as the furry little friends passed through the tall blades of grass, the ticks saw their supper coming and gladly made the leap from grass to furry friends to suck some nice, warm blood.
They actually killed 2 birds with 1 stone, so to speak, as they had transportation with their supper. And one really smart opossum did indeed make it across the road even though the sign said "state line"; so......
Posts: 4035 | From Mississippi | Registered: Jul 2008
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lymemomtooo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5396
posted
this is how the crew progressed and secretly transported their ticks past all of the non-tick state walls at the state lines. They crawled thru the grasses. If only they could find their way to DC.
Posts: 2360 | From SE PA | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
A capitol idea, lymemomtoo - in fact they thought they might be able to bring some bearing on the issue of infected ticks crossing the road if they could get to Washington.
They were very proud of their group efforts to get off Plum Island in the first place - they did manage to sneak on board a ferry at night and enjoy the contents of its snack bar, and then to hide out under the lower deck stairs as the ferry made its way to the mainland.
And then it was state line by state line, with many rendezvous with others of their collective ilk.
They even managed to meet their chicken idol, Gregory Peck! He graciously gave them many autograph dirt road scratches.
The local dialects were a little hard to understand at first. Like
Posts: 13171 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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just don
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posted
-------------------- just don Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001
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daisyrlb
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15686
posted
Robin123 you got that right.
The local dialects were a little hard to understand at first. Like it or not--it did not stop the creative blood thirsty vampire ticks one bit.
They had a goal to make it across every state line in the Union and make themselves right at home, state after state and city after city.
Some people do not think that those ticks have the wherewithall to accomplish such a feat, but rumor has it they've been known to outsmart even the "so called best" of those old "ducks".
Believe it or not devilish laughter rises from across the nation ``HEEEEEE-HEEEEEE-HEEEEE!!!!" as the
Posts: 2188 | From Oklahoma | Registered: May 2008
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posted
realization that all of us have, daisyrlb, that you got that right, the tick-lish laughter in the land as this odd managerie made its way - our multiple ticks, our chicken, armadillo, raccoon, and I think the opossom,
altho some of us here might accuse us of hallucinating its appearance - we do seem to have a difference of opinion on whether the opossum managed to cross the road or not,
but not to forget the offering our friend Just Don just made -
like those three - I mean who could deal with those goofy southen ticks with their kicked-back drawwwwl crawwwwls, hardly movin' at all on those hot dusty roads,
but still, they provided a bit of entertaining hospitality to our group and especially our tick friends.................yes, they picked up several more friends from all that passage through state grasses.
But now it was time for
Posts: 13171 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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Lymetoo, my latest remarks were addressed to the goofy faces Just Don provided for our story, and not meant otherwise -
if you have something more to tell us about the genuine character of the southern ticks our group encountered, go ahead!
Posts: 13171 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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