lymewreck36
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posted
My family loved this thread this evening.
My favorite is
ISDA: There is no real evidence a chicken exists.!!!!!!!!!
Mary Posts: 1032 | From North Carolina | Registered: Aug 2003
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Dekrator48
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After a long drunken nap, the am-in-als woke up to "olfactory overload".
The animal menagerie smelled worse than a garbage pile soaked in stale beer baking in the hot Florida sun for days on end.
A film crew member opened the back of the truck to retrieve some equipment and the menagerie beamed as they saw the huge stadium before them.
The animals scampered out of the truck and ran for the stadium entrance.
Once inside, they followed a long corridor that led to the Home team's showers and locker room....
Mr.Crane, Ima Crane, Moby Tick and all the tick passengers frolicked on the perfectly coiffed grassy field.
They "craned" their necks, looked high and low, and were mesmerized by the enormity of this strange place....
Meanwhile, our zombie hunter awakened from a little nap and decided to check out Miami and get a bite to eat.
His hotel was in the heart of the city, so there are many restaurants and endless nightlife within walking distance.
He could feel the energy of the city but wondered why he had so little of it.
The hunter found a bench and sat down to rest his aching knees and back. His neck was stiff. He blamed it on the hotel pillow.
Seeing a popular restaurant ahead, he crossed the street, entered and asked to be seated.
He ordered a glass of wine and relaxed to look over the menu.
He wanted to ask the server if they had his favorite dish, but he couldn't remember what it was called....he just couldn't remember the right words even though he could picture it in his mind.....
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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daisyrlb
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still no words came. He stared at the menu, with a blank look, and took another sip of wine.
He looked around the restaurant. There were TV's overhead and in every corner--sports, sports and more sports; the girls were dressed (if you want to call it that) in white tank tops and orange shorts. He thought to himself, "This place doesn't look familiar. How did I even end up here."
He focused his attention to the menu again but the words seemed blurry. "I'll have to get my eyes checked when I get back home."
As he sat there he began to feel anxious and his heart seemed to pound ever so slightly, "It's been a long day and I just need something to eat."
posted
smiled as she prepared to take his order. She noticed he looked a bit tired and asked if he had been up late partying at one of the Super Bowl parties.
"No, I wish," he said with a smile. "I've just been feeling strangely tired."
The waitress said, "You know, a lot of my friends have been saying the same thing recently. They just suddenly start not feeling well, but can't put a finger on anything they've done. Maybe it's something in the water!"
The hunter replied, "Are they also not able to suddenly read menus easily too? This looks blurry to me."
The waitress replied,
[ 02-06-2010, 01:52 AM: Message edited by: Robin123 ]
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lymemomtooo
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I will interrupt a moment. Had to stop shoveling snow because as I threw it up, the piles are so high, it started coming back at me..This is a wonderful break and surprise since I haven't seen it for a while..
You guys are great..Hope the waitress has a good answer for the hunter, who thank God went south, as did the others, in time to miss this junk..
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daisyrlb
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The waitress replied, "Mister it happens around here all the time." Then she looked him straight in the eyes and with a giggle continued, "I think you, like them, have just had one too many."
She threw her head back and began laughing out loud.
He looked at her dumbfounded.
The waitress felt sorry for the guy and decided to help him out. She bent over and pointed to a picture on the menu of the restaurant's most popular item, and said, "Mister, this is just what you need, chicken wings! You have your choice of sauce--mild, medium, hot, 3 mile island, 911--for you I suggest the 911" and she continued laughing as she tossed back her long hair with her left hand.
He had the strangest thought that seemed to come out of no where, "Does a chicken really exist?"
He looked at her and nodded his approval to her suggestion and...
Posts: 2188 | From Oklahoma | Registered: May 2008
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posted
wondered why he thought maybe he should really think about calling 911 - his heart was racing for no good reason - yes, the waitress was cute, but he didn't think that was the reason for his intermittent cardiac flutter -
and why was he getting so spacy - he had a sudden image of himself not being able to even cross a road...
oh, well, he'd take her suggestion and maybe that kind of an order would keep him from dozing off! "The 911, it is!"
Just then
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Dekrator48
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...the hungry but spacey hunter noticed that the sounds of the busy restaurant seemed overwhelming. He was thankful that the lights were dimmed, since bright light made him feel sick.
He ate a dozen very hot 911 wings, drank several glasses of wine and some ice water and paid the bill.
He was so exhausted that instead of exploring the beauty of the city, he decided to go back to his hotel and go to bed in preparation for the big game.
On game day, he awoke after a poor night's sleep, still feeling fatigued. His knees continued to throb and he felt a little anxious.
He thought... Well, at least I can take a cab to the stadium and I'll be comfortably seated during the game.
He dug his Super Bowl ticket out of his luggage.
He ate a light lunch since his stomach seemed a little upset.
He thought he would set out a little early for the stadium, so he hailed a cab......
Meanwhile, the animal menagerie cleaned themselves up in the showers of the home team.
They shook off the water and headed out to hopefully find some scraps of food.
The animals met up with Mr Crane, Ima Crane, Moby Tick and all the tick passengers on the field.
They put their heads together and decided that the best place to find a bite to eat was near the many mobile concession stands that were being readied for the game.
At first the ticks objected, thinking there would be nothing for them to eat there.
They soon found, to their delight, that there were many hurried human workers in shorts and sandals upon whom they could potentially feast!
"Whoo hoo!" all the animals, cranes and ticks cheered....it was gonna be a great day at the Super Bowl.......
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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The animals, after happily gnawing, pawing, pecking and nosing through a cornucopia of food prep droppings, then made their way to under the lower seating area in the middle of the stadium for best viewing.
Ima Crane and Mr Crane flew to the top of the stadium, just above the 400s-numbered seats.
Moby Tick and his friends were easily able to find a few human bare feet to enjoy. They had to say goodbye to a couple of their friends whose human transport walked off with them into stadium seating, unknowingly with a few extra tick-ets.
They had also met some southern gentlemen and southern belle ticks who graciously explained other dining possibilities in the area.
Our hunter had a hard time with all the stadium commotion so decided to take his seat on the 50-yd line for some restful pre-game time.
He was glad he was there, but the noise and lights were bothersome. He had bought some earplugs and sunglasses just in case he needed them.
Maybe he would have his health checked on again after the game.
And our film crew could hardly wait for their halftime surprise...
The crowd was
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sutherngrl
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The crowd was pouring into the stadium. They were from all over the United States. There was so much excitement in the air and they were totally unaware that they were tick bait.
Mr Crane and Ima Crane had a "birds eye view". Love was in bloom and this would be a super bowl they would never forget. They already had plans for a superbowl party on the beach, diving for sushi.....how romantic.
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Dekrator48
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The hunter was ready for the kickoff. The stadium was filled to the brim. Wow, he would remember this trip for the rest of his life.
His head started to spin a little when the crowd roared. It was REALLY loud. Those bright lights were blinding.
He was trying his best to enjoy the game and looked forward to the half-time show....
Mr Crane and Ima Crane wrapped their necks around one another and enjoyed the game from their high vantage point.
They thought it might be nice though to swoop down to field level for the half-time show. They didn't want to miss a thing....
The animal menagerie was having a great time! They were dancing and cheering with every play. They didn't even know who they were rooting for, but they didn't really care.
They watched the big screen intently for all the commercials which were even better than the game itself....
Moby tick and many of the other ticks were firmly latched onto unsuspecting toes, legs, groins and underarms.
They were having a feeding frenzy and loving it!
They were getting jostled around a bit with all the jumping up and down, but they managed to stay firmly in place so their meal was not interrupted.....
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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sutherngrl
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One of the southern ticks accidentially fell off the foot he was attached to, when he for some unknown reason, yelled out the words....."who dat"!!!
He was stunned for a moment as he hit hard as he fell; but luckily he landed next to another unsuspecting foot. He climbed aboard and made his way to a higher vantage point. He wanted to see the half time show.
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Dekrator48
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The hunter, animal menagerie, Mr Crane and Ima Crane were all on their feet dancing to The Who performing at the half-time show....
The ticks were listening and sort of watching so they didn't lose their grip on their meals....
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96223 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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just don
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Our am-in-als and the commercial am-in-als were a great combination!!!
And they all came out like a saint.
What a strange site seeing young horses line up against guys with halo's on them..Fighting over what used to be another friend,,, in a former life,,porky pig!!(or the skin thereof)
-------------------- just don Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001
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Our animals had managed to find a small TV under a seat, and as Just Don mentioned, they were thrilled with all the animals they saw in the ads.
"We saw a bear and a dog and a calf and lots of horses and -"
"And the hens - did you see all those screaming hens?!" crowed the rooster and hen.
Even the ticks were pleased by the scenes of all those tempting animals, and of course they were bowled over by their ready-made super suppers.
But what really made the evening for our menagerie is when their truck football footage was shown just before halftime. Even they had managed to play this game, and without any training! They were naturals!
They sported out onto the field and cavorted. Hey, it was their show too! The film crew saw them and cheered.
And the hunter, he rubbed his eyes, and then rubbed them again. Was he hallucinating these days, or had he actually seen that combo before - that chicken, raccoon, possum and armadillo - but where?
Just then the Who concert began and he had to use his ear plugs and nightshades.
Later all partied into the wee hours - our arthropods with their new southern tick hosts, our menagerie so proud of their debut before millions -
"Maybe we could do baseball next! We can either run the bases or be them!" exclaimed the baby possums.
And our hunter rested in his seat until most of the stadium had cleared. He thought he'd try and locate maybe a slightly quieter hang-out in town. He couldn't shake the strange memory he couldn't quite place - just Who were those animals?
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daisyrlb
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Robin, Dekrator, suthern and Don, Thanks for that live reporting from Miami
The hunter repeated it again out loud this time, "Just Who were those animals? This is madness."
And with that the animal menagerie chimed in, "Madness?! This has been so super, why not focus on March Madness next and after that baseball!
With all the excitement of the day, the adrenaline had been flowing in the hunter, the animals and the ticks; however, now all were winding down, not to mention they had all overeaten and were stuffed. Ugh.
The ticks were particular gorged and were looking forward to a good night's rest as they snuggled into their unsuspecting hosts.
The hunter was just hoping he could get some rest before heading back home and making an appointment to see his doctor, yet again. He just didn't feel like himself. He was glad the anti-fungal cream was working though as the "rash" had disapperared.
posted
Our writers are recovering from the excitement of the game, Tutu -
Now that one of the writers is back from the local hofbrau party, this writer has discovered that the animals, after having a super night on the town, decided they weren't done yet with the partying -
they wanted to go to New Orleans where the greatest party in the country was to happen. They knew it would be a pre-Mardi Gras scene. Maybe they might fit right in...
They also really liked the idea since they had after all traveled down from their little island off Long Island to the south and they could continue their travel loop around the country,
so they all crept inside one of the large Saints vehicles and settled down under some gold and black blankets in the back and were on their way.
For the cranes, it was a simple matter. Back to our story line:
The stadium was almost empty as Ima Crane and Mr Crane picked up Moby and Who was left of his old friends and added a couple new ones ("Who Dat" and "Who Me" amongst them) and began a scenic coastal route headed west.
They would all meet in the French quarter.
Our hunter, well, he wished he was well enough for a brief New Orleans vacation, but something still wasn't right.
He decided to see an eye doc in town before leaving. He wanted to ask about his difficulty reading and handling all those bright lights at the game and afterwards...
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lymemomtooo
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The staff at the office was wonderful and the Dr seemed to be very knowledgable. He was even a specialist in diseases of the eye. He did many tests on the hunter and sent some away to labs.
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While partying in the French quarter, the Cranes announced to everyone that they were getting married and staying in New Orleans for their honeymoon.
Moby Tick and his friends needed to find a new ride home, but where?
While dancing (or rather, feeding on humans who were dancing) at the party, Moby eyed the local birds and considered their options for transportation:
Pigeons, geese, pelicans and....ducks!
-------------------- Don't forget to laugh! And when you're going through hell, keep going!
Bitten 5/25/2009 in Perry County, Indiana. Diagnosed by LLMD 12/2/2009. Posts: 756 | From Inside the tunnel | Registered: Jan 2010
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Moby was happy for his crane friends' joyous honeymoon plans, but he too realized that he and his crew would need some new transport.
He made the acquaintance of a nearby duck, and after finding out the duck and his friends would be continuing on west through Texas, asked his name.
"Herman. I'm from Duckville, TX. They call me Herman Duckville. And we'll be heading west after we're done partying here soon. We'll let you know when."
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Dekrator48
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Moby, Who Dat, Who Me and the other tag-along ticks cheered with delight!
They had never been to Texas before. Herman's soft feathers would surely provide a comfortable place to enjoy the ride.
Moby was curious to talk to some Texas Ticks. He heard they were a little "different" but wasn't sure what that meant.
Herman Duckville informed the ticks that he would be leaving first thing in the morning for Texas.
Until then, they would continue partying....
The now Mr and Mrs Crane spent as much time near the water as possible. The sunsets were so romantic.
They talked about their future and looked forward to having little cranes....
The Saints vehicle with the animal menagerie inside arrived in New Orleans just in time for the Congratulatory parade.
The animals hopped out of the vehicle and saw an interesting looking float being prepared for the parade.
It had lots of black and gold sparkle and many places under which they could hide and still ride along.
They each found a spot and sang and danced to When the Saints Come Marching In....
The hunter caught his flight back home after seeing the Eye Specialist.
He was feeling alot of head pressure, but thought it was just the altitude.
He tried to sleep on the plane but couldn't.
The Eye Specialist told him that he thought he just had a little viral infection of the eyes and it would pass, but he would call him with the lab results.
Hearing that was a relief, since he was afraid it was something more serious.
The Hunter arrived home and collapsed into bed.
He wondered how in the world he would find the energy to get up and go to work in the morning...
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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Herman flew on down to Rockport, home of the endangered whooping cranes. He flew out over the Gulf to where the cranes were wintering along the coastal prairies. It was exciting to see such magnificent birds!!!
He flew over the boat filled with tourists and dropped a few ticks on it. The ticks, having nowhere else to feed, latched onto the legs of unsuspecting tourists.
Then he flew across the coastline, where more than 350 species of birds were wintering. You COULD call them Winter Texans!
Some of the Winter Texans (human species) were out birding and Herman dropped a few ticks on them too....
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96223 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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posted
Then Herman managed to land at a Holiday Inn for the week, and splashed around for awhile in the outdoor pool. He enjoyed it too too much.
His tick cargo saw this coming and dropped off before the water's edge to enjoy a few sunbathers. Moby enjoyed spending time with a new tick friend, How Yall.
Our animals were still whooping it up in New Orleans and in no rush to leave - in fact, humans thought the animals were part of the Saints welcome float procession. Our menagerie was very impressed with the human species - "They surrrrrre know how to party!"
Meanwhile our hunter, having hit another dead-end with yet another doctor's visit, was moping around at a local bar, and happened to mention his malaise to a pal at the counter.
His friend said the same history had happened to other friends of his, and that someone had said it might be related to this strange condition called Lyme disease, a not too-unknown health condition on Plum Island.
If he wanted to know more, he could check with an internet site called www.lymenet.org for more info.
The hunter replied that he wasn't much of an internet person, preferring outdoors activity over any indoor time at a computer, but maybe he'd check it out some day. The whole idea seemed a little far-fetched to him...
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just don
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And for the hundreth time(oops post),,,,why DID the chicken cross the road????
-------------------- just don Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001
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Meanwhile, the Winter Texans were planning their trips back home in the spring. They couldn't wait to get back home to their families where they would SHARE everything they experienced in Texas......
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96223 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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quote:Originally posted by just don: And for the hundreth time(oops post),,,,why DID the chicken cross the road????
What chicken?? [/QB]
Perfect answer! Did anyone ever answer the question before with a question?
Just Don, doesn't sound like your chicken ever got to cross the road. Some chickens can only dream of doing so.
"Son, some day you might get outa here and be able to cross the road. I suggest you not eat much anymore
and that way, you'll look too scrawny for their purposes and you might be skinny enough to escape outa here to see that great big world out there."
This conversation occurred recently on a chicken farm. Chicken McNugget took his mom's words seriously and began eating lightly so as to have a chance to get outside and cross the road some day.
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-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96223 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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kam
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posted
It wanted to get to the 2010 Winter Olympics!!
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just don
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The WHOLE troupe of animals had a top level meeting and decided they liked the super bowl so much,,the partying in New Orleans,,they just could NOT quit now.
Off to the Olympics they trudged. One following another in single file,,maybe they would find a better 'mass transit' method along the way when all of a sudden.....
They waved to Kam as they passed by her house since it was HER idea to make the next 'leg' of the journey!!!
-------------------- just don Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001
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kam
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able to read JD's...not able to read the other posts yet...thanks JD ...that was fun
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Oh my gosh, there is definitely some fast-track traveling going on here -
and a lot more state lines being crossed, since that IS one of the goals of our animals and ticks, is to show that crossing state lines can be done, so
that takes care of a few more southern US states, with a wave-off at Kam's, and now they're on their way quickly up to Canada, whose border infected ticks also aren't supposed to be able to cross either -
Our duck tick transporter, Herman Duckville, was much enjoying this adventure as well - he was up for carrying his tick cargo to their next destination. He had heard BC was beautiful and wanted to experience it for himself, along with frequent lake stopovers along the way -
The next question of the day:
How would our menagerie and ticks fare in the cold? I mean, we're talking a rooster and a hen, an armadillo, a raccoon, a possum family with a couple little ones, all of whom have put on a little more weight from their partying in New Orleans,
to say nothing of Moby Tick, Who Dat, Who Me, a couple other tick friends and Herman Duckville, our duck tick transporter -
Plus: Was there going to possibly be a way for our menagerie and ticks to participate in the winter Olympics?
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posted
Why didn't Chicken McNugget cross the road?
'Cause he was still captive on the chicken farm, on a diet and hatching a plan to get out...
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'Cause his balance wasn't very good any more, nor was his eye sight, his hearing was too acute, he was tired, he didn't really care - he thought he'd just stay around the house and see if he could manage to watch some TV, maybe the Olympics - he did like sports -
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daisyrlb
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While some chickens were crossing the road,
and other chickens had visions of crossing the road,
and while the hunter didn't have very good vision and didn't feel like crossing the road,
the WHOLE troupe of animals along with their "tick cargo" crossed many roads as they rolled, hiked, and trudged along toward Canada and the Olympics.
They were out of "no man's land" (where they saw kam) and passed the "Middle of midwest" (where they spotted jd). But now they were starting to feel the cold of the crunchy snow, not to mention the time crunch. The Opening Ceremonies were going to be starting soon.
Just then, as luck would have it (they are the luckiest GROUP of party goers ever) they spotted a u-haul rental truck parked in front of an apartment complex. The hen swooned, "There is my hero--Ohhhh, the Bald Eagle flying over beautiful mountains." But on closer look, huh?! what?! Hand made signs on both sides of the u-haul, they couldn't believe their eyes the words read, "Alaska or Bust, via Vancouver".
The WHOLE troupe of animals, along with their tick passengers, jumped up and down with glee, they just knew this was their ticket north.
The back of the u-haul was jam packed with stuff and two guys and a gal were talking while drinking hot chocolate. The GROUP over heard the three, "I just love all this snow we've been getting here this year. This is the push we needed to make that move we've always dreamed of. And in unison they yelled, "Alaska here we come!" Then they said, "Cheers" and clinked their mugs of hot chocolate together--that sealed the deal. As they continued talking a scurry of activity took place.
Some of the ticks quickly jumped off their hosts, including host Herman Duckville, and made a beeline for the three human hosts. Moby Tick led the way. The ticks, although grateful for their past hosts, were ready for a change. Ahhh, nothing like the taste of human blood. They scurried up the sneakers of the unsuspecting humans, made it under the jeans into familiar territory and claimed their spots.
Meanwhile the rooster (who was a little perturbed at the hen's reaction to the Bald Eagle--it was just a painting!), the hen, the armadillo, the raccoon, the possum family, and Herman Duckville...
posted
...counted state lines until they met the Big One, the cross-country line. They were truckers, not skiers, as they easily cross-countried the Big Line. They were not even noticed as their transport was waved through.
They managed to navigate their way to Vancouver just before the opening ceremony. They had a blast with all the easy food pickins on the cold ground, and cold it was, considering where they had just come from.
Our ticks did not meet their Canadian brethren due to the cold, so they made due with rapid attachment to unsuspecting Olympic visitors.
In fact, they devised their own Olympics sport - to see who could attach, imbibe and then drop off the quickest. So far, with the clock ticking, the fastest time was 18 seconds!!
Our menagerie marveled at the opening ceremony from under their respective seats. They couldn't get enough of just how inventive humans can be!
And how considerate humans were to include their animal friends in their ceremony.
Our group decided to enroll in some animal games.
The raccoon went for Garbage Rummaging. The possoms signed up for Possum Drop. The armadillo liked the idea of Snow Waddling.
Herman Duckville met another duck who told him: "Ahab a cold, but I'm still here to compete." "In what?" asked Herman. "In the Quick Quack competition," answered his new friend.
Herman heard "Ahab, I'm cold" and thinking Ahab was his name, signed them both up for duck quick quack pairs as Herman Duckville and Captain Ahab.
The white-footed mouse qualified for Mouse Dart, a competition between mice to see which mouse could dart the fastest across snow without being seen.
And everyone, well, they were ecstatic, since they had already viewed an aviary champ, Aflac, affectionately known as Afquack, on a snowboard, with a decent time! An inspirational start to the menagerie's high expectations for some Olympic dreams of their own.
They all
[ 02-18-2010, 04:09 AM: Message edited by: Robin123 ]
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kam
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LOL That was fun!
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daisyrlb
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were having so much fun and LOL for sure. kam.
Watching that miscommunication between Herman Duckville and "Captain Ahab" had its own kind of fun and funny.
The menagerie was laughing so hard that they had tears streaming down their faces. They grabbed their sides as they fell to the ground rolling with laughter.
They were all quacked up as they repeated, one after the other , "Ahab, Ahab, Ahab!"
"A ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha"
But then, a hush, and a seriousness came across the menagerie. One by one they got up, dusted themselves off and grinned at each other.
The games! The GOLD! A vision of Afquack on that snowboard flashed across their minds. Watching Afquack was one of those once-in-a-life-time-inspirational-experiences and each contenstant in their Olympic Sport, whether it be the
quote:Originally posted by kam: [QB] LOL That was fun!
WAY too funny, Robin!!
Loved the quack part and this too:
"In fact, they devised their own Olympics sport - to see who could attach, imbibe and then drop off the quickest. So far, with the clock ticking, the fastest time was 18 seconds!!"
daisy..."The GOLD! A vision of Afquack on that snowboard flashed across their minds."
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96223 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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daisyrlb
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
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posted
Robin, you really should write a book. You are very gifted. I am so enjoying your creativity and posts!
Come on, Robin, you're really a published author, right? (Come on "spill the beans".) If not, you should be.
Everyone involved, YOU are making this such a fun read. Can't wait to read what you're gonna write, so I can see what happens next.
Posts: 2188 | From Oklahoma | Registered: May 2008
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posted
It was then that, or rather, now, that yours truly realized she missed one of your earlier tags, so there it is...
daisy, the novel is happening here, now, in prime time, with NBC covering all the twists and turns. Special report coming soon!
Hi and welcome to Amanda!
The next morning, which was like now, since who sleeps through the night anyway? our hunter awoke to find a message on his answering machine from his girlfriend who was berating him for not having got in touch with her for Valentine's day.
It was then, or rather, now, that he realizes he doesn't even know the date anymore. "What is happening to me?" he says now. He picks up the phone and leaves a message, saying, "
Posts: 13117 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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just don
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 1129
posted
Happy Valenticks Day!
-------------------- just don Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001
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We are! The return of our novel adventures in Vancouver!
We have breaking news that some of our menagerie have scored big! For instance,
Posts: 13117 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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posted
our Mouse scored big in the Mouse Dart - managed to evade all tourists as it scuttled across the snowy Vancouver pathway route, and won...the Golden Cheese!
Our possums have done well too, especially the young ones - they learned quickly how to drop and curl up to look just like little balls of snow.
When adult possum judges could not spot them on the snow, our youngun possums popped up to reveal that indeed they were NOT snow but baby possums, and they were awarded the Olympic Snowpuff!
Our raccoon made an interesting discovery during his Garbage Rummaging trial run - he discovered a kam-corder that still worked, so he began recording the Olympic events of the menagerie.
He wants to thank their sponsor, Kam, for having sent them all to the Vancouver Olympics!
Further footage has now revealed that
Posts: 13117 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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posted
Oh, switching channels here for a sec - the hunter's girlfriend heard the odd statement on her machine - Happy Valentick's Day - ??? -
was something wrong here? Couldn't he talk right anymore? Was he on drugs?
She thought she'd better make a house call to check. When she arrived at his house,
Posts: 13117 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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posted
The Olympic schedule continues...... a rather petite entry in the female skating event has taken the audience by storm. Russian Suzy Swan,leaving Swan Lake, has skated her first practice session and shocked the other competitors with her talent.
The favorite to win, Canadian Girly Goose, stomped off the ice in a huff because the attention was diverted to Suzy.
All the worldly competitors come complete with traveling companions commonly known as Poli"ticks". They, of course have their own agenda. The IOC ( International Olymp"ticks" Committee ) have their legs full of controversy.
All the Poli"ticks" are in training. Building up their front and back legs while they courageously hold on to their prospective host during practice sessions. They have arrived late in the game due to the weather so they will be beginning their game of influence tonight.
As the menagerie of competitors gears up for competition, the Poli"ticks" move into position to fly,jump, twirl,and attach onto the judges panel . Their sinister agenda....to influence the outcome of the Olympic games in figure skating. More drama to come....
[ 02-17-2010, 09:04 PM: Message edited by: sk8ter ]
Posts: 871 | From orange county, ca. | Registered: Jan 2006
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posted
Welcome, Sk8ter and sk8ting drama!! We look forward to the unfolding of sk8ting events, dare we say even some controversy?
InBC announcing today: Another menagerie sporting event occurred suddenly and briefly today - the Mo' Gulls.
It was a Flash event, evidently posted on Gullnet last night, calling for gulls from all over the world to fly into Vancouver today and gather at their respective countries' Olympic sites, with the greatest numbers winning.
Tourists were surprised to see evergrowing groups of gulls arriving by the minute. Mo' gulls and mo' gulls! And mo' gulls!! they cried, not realizing that was indeed the name of the event.
It was evident that Canadian gulls were the most numerous, followed by US gulls, with Siberian gulls taking the bronze.
It did appear to be an event that favored the host's location, but it was just a Flash event and all in fun.
The gulls did manage to drop off a new crop of international ticks in the Olympic landscape.
Posts: 13117 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
Thanks for putting a smile on my face Robin.
OK we had the valentick day
Olympic Tick
[ 02-18-2010, 11:28 AM: Message edited by: kam ]
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-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96223 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
Whewph..they all made it across the road
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
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posted
well, Just Don, maybe you'll be relieved to learn that yours truly's mental health was checked out and it was found that plenty of borrelia bacteria had slipped through the quacks and were presently ducking all opportunities to vacate,
prompting this author to exclaim: "Waddle I do?" Given that odd bill of health, yours truly could only wing the rest of this contest,
which, being a Quick Quack contest, favored those duck pairs with the quickest quacks.
The French ducks, the Dux and the rubber ducky/Gary Larson pair advanced to the final duckdown.
The author duly noted the growing size of the duck audience for this showdown, appreciating, as Kam noticed,
that more ducks had indeed made it across the road, many roads in fact, to be in the cheering Vancouver duck audience by the edge of the frozen Olympics duck pond.
Many of them, in fact, were beginning to consider their own quick quack potential and who they might partner with for four years from now...
Our own Lymenet Lymetoo was there too, staying with her husband in a Canadian Holiday Inn, which they found to be as comfortable as the ones south of the border.
Posts: 13117 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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posted
This thread is fun. You guys are awesome story tellers. Posts: 423 | From Upstate NY | Registered: May 2009
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map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
Oh Kam, thanks for the visual. They do look happy. Thank goodness I'm not a chicken, I hate cold and winter. I'll just stay in the barn.
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6478 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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Carol in PA
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 5338
posted
quote:Originally posted by Robin123: Oh, switching channels here for a sec - the hunter's girlfriend heard the odd statement on her machine - Happy Valentick's Day - ??? -
was something wrong here? Couldn't he talk right anymore? Was he on drugs?
She thought she'd better make a house call to check. When she arrived at his house,
When she arrived at his house, she knocked at the side door and let herself in.
She walked into the kitchen to find the hunter dishing out some ice cream.
"Hi," he said, "you want some too? You'll never guess what I found in the freezer...my cell phone! And yesterday when I tried to put my socks in the hamper, I lifted the toilet seat and put them in there! I swear, I must be going nuts."
"Hah," said the girlfriend, as she sat down at the table with a small bowl of ice cream, "And here I thought you already were."
"Have you been watching the Olympics?" the hunter asked. "I kept falling asleep and missed most of it. I'm just so tired lately."
"Oh, the new sports are so fun. They....."
Posts: 6947 | From Lancaster, PA | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
...are actually featuring some unusual scenes, like the other day tourists noticed enormous numbers of gulls gathering at Olympic sites -
almost like they were having their own Olympic event - wouldn't that be funny if they actually had any concept of an international Olympics event -
oh well, I must be getting as cuckoo as you lately - anyway, maybe watching some of the Olympic achievements will be good for your morale -"
The hunter promised her he would check in with the events from time to time. If he could remember to do so - he seemed so out of it these days. He wondered if
Posts: 13117 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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posted
And now for the finale of our duck Quick Quack pairs event! Afquack, our TV duck snowboarding star, was the honored judge, along with a few quack-counting assistants.
The Dux, an elegant pair in ducktux and tails, took the gold, followed by the French pair with l'argent, and the rubber ducky/Gary Larson pair took yznorb.
Afquack, recognizing the popularity of this contest, called a special post-event demo by all contestants, as well as tourist ducks. The ensuing duckdin party will never be forgotten in Vancouver menagerie Olympic history:
Then Afquack bestowed a special prize on all contestants: he promised them that he would insure them for life, such that if they ever became unable to fish, that fish would be provided for them.
And off he went on his snowboard down the hill. The ducks partied until the wee hours!
And how were our ticks doing?
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
I don't know about the ticks but the vessel for their bacteria is tickled pink at the creativity and fun of this thread.
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Dekrator48
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posted
The ticks were feeling a little sluggish in the cold weather, but were managing to function amid the body heat of Olympic-goers.
Moby Tick was so engorged that he thought he would throw up again!
Moby knew that when he threw up into his fleshy human lunch that he would feel better and be able to eat more again.
He taught the smaller, more inexperienced ticks how to make the most of their meals.
They decided to all meet up at one of the Olympic parties being held that evening at a local resort.
They all agreed.....finish lunch by 2 pm so they can detach and drop off of their host.
They would meet at a predetermined place to catch a ride to the party on the Service Dog of a party attendee.
Tonight they would par-teeee!!!!......
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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posted
Yes, Moby had discovered the value of bulimia at the Vancouver winter games - the more the merrier...His friends took to teasingly calling him Mobylimic.
So it was on to the party! Some traveled by service dogs, some by nearby royal Canadian mounted police, both on human and horse,
and some enterprising ticks even found a moose to jump onto which was giving moose-mobile rides around town to top-touristy Vancouver sites.
Arriving at the party resort, they found a large number of humans on the plentiful Chesterfield sofas enjoying their 24-beer cases -
"We've come to yet another yummy Olympic site, eh?" And with no sorry apologies, settled in for a good evening's time...
[ 02-24-2010, 05:34 AM: Message edited by: Robin123 ]
Posts: 13117 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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posted
Now we'd like to catch up with another of our menagerie sporting events: the Armadillo Waddle.
It was a first at an Olympic games, the idea that contestants would pick up points for going outside the lines,
which in this case were two parallel blue lines drawn on a gently downhill slope, the object being for the four-footeds to stay within the lines while waddling as far as possible outside of them.
Armadillos from several countries vied for glory, showing off their various waddling styles, including the poky dawdle Waddle, the cute coddle Waddle, the speedy throttle Waddle, the elegant model Waddle,
but for our Armadillo, what he was going to most remember from his Armadillo Waddle experience is that is where he met Ermadillo, who was willing to waddle away with him after the event...
[ 02-24-2010, 05:37 AM: Message edited by: Robin123 ]
Posts: 13117 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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The chicken Hop'NPeck event, the object being to hop as high and far as possible in 20 seconds and then peck at the snow as quickly as possible in the following 20 seconds. If any chicken landed a bug, bonus points would be awarded.
When our ticks heard about this event, they made sure to all be attached to a warm-blooded nonchicken by that time.
Our chicken and rooster did very well in the event and were awarded the Shuster Rooster award, a knock-off of the curlers' Shuster Rooster. Our champs decided for next time they would prepare to ride atop a curling stone instead of hopping.
Posts: 13117 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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daisyrlb
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
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posted
Fun read and LOL!
Ticks are a lot smarter than they,re given credit for. . .
Posts: 2188 | From Oklahoma | Registered: May 2008
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Our own Lymenet Lymetoo was there too, staying with her husband in a Canadian Holiday Inn, which they found to be as comfortable as the ones south of the border. [/QB]
I WISH!!!
We went to BC about 20 yrs ago. It was AWESOME!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96223 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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posted
Closing ceremonies at the winter Olympics were underway. Our menagerie decided they wanted to enter in with the human athletes.
All of our menagerie scuttled/rolled/hopped/waddled/shuffled/winged in except for our ticks, who, as daisy noted above, were smart enough to realize they had excellent easy meals awaiting them in the stands.
Our menagerie was very proud of its Olympic champions! Our Mouse led the way with the Golden Cheese, followed by the baby possums with their Olympic Snowpuffs and their proud parents in tow.
Our rooster and chicken had done well in the chicken hop'npeck event and occasionally demonstrated their winning Olympic technique in their stadium entry.
Our duck contingent was quacking each other up with their many Olympic utterances. Herman Duckville was impressed that Canadians knew how to party as well as his friends in New Orleans. Captain Ahab had by now gotten over his cold but still kept his name since it was a good joke.
They had even convinced Afquack to join them. What a honor! Never one to duck an opportunity, Afquack came with his snowboard. He was a true Olympic media hero.
Our armadillo and Ermadillo only had eyes for each other and had to be reminded later by the others what transpired at the closing ceremony. Something about a bunch of singing in Russian.
Did they know any animals in Russia? They'd all realized they enjoyed a good party. They'd all have to start practicing adding sky and skaya at the end of their utterances if they were to consider meeting up at the next Olympics.
Herman Duckville thought he'd try a practice run: Laissez qu-a-a-a-a-ckskaya les bons tempsky!! He might be the first duck ever to quack Frenchian!
Our raccoon brought up the rear guard with his kam-korder which was his finest acquisition during the raccoon garbage rummaging event, and he was making sure to have as much of the closing events rekorded as possible.
He even managed to rekord a few seagulls who flew into the stadium who had participated in the mo'gulls event and decided to stay on for the rest of the Olympics.
...............................................
There was a point at which our hunter decided to turn on the telly for a little bit of the closing Olympic events.
Spotting the animals during the athletes' entrance, he rubbed his tired eyes, then looked again. He could swear that raccoon, that possum, that armadillo there, that chicken - that group! - he could swear he'd seen them before!
His girlfriend had chided him during his confessions of mental confusion, including his viewing of the animals at the superbowl halftime. She had exclaimed to him then: So why don't you go see a hypnotist and get to the source of your crazy visions?!
At this point, he was ready to consider doing just that in the week to come. That, or undergo a mental check-up at a local hospital...
As he continued to watch the closing ceremonies, he thought, well, his crazy visions truly weren't that much different from the giant beavers and giant flying moose and canoes with dancing duos in them or the flying maple leaf lady butterflies - maybe it was time to laugh a little about all the craziness...
[ 03-01-2010, 05:43 AM: Message edited by: Robin123 ]
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
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posted
That was fun. I was so glad to see that the Chicken was still out and about for March.
The luck of the Irish I guess.
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able to read JD's...not able to read the other posts yet...thanks JD ...that was fun
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